m_findlow

Title: Crime and punishment
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 610 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Any, any, meting out punishment" at fic_promptly
Summary: Just because he does it, doesn't mean he enjoys it.

Ianto sighs, staring at the can and knowing it's time once again to have to open it. It feels like the enemy, lurking in their kitchen cupboard. Some horrible alien the rift has dumped on them to make their lives miserable. It's not though. It's just the decaf.

He takes no pleasure in the task. There's absolute no enjoyment to be had from being forced to manufacture such an abomination, let alone force someone to drink it. It's not even real coffee, he thinks, cringing as he forces open the can with the end of the spoon, dipping into the brown, and wondering what precisely it is. It's certainly never encountered a coffee bean in its life as far as he can tell. It doesn't even smell like ground coffee, not even the cheap brands of instant that the supermarkets have the audacity to sell.

Loading up the mugs on the tray, he eyes off the suspicious contents, almost as if expecting them to rebel. They don't belong, not there amongst its betters. It should be ashamed if itself, he thinks.

Setting down the mug in front of the culprit in question, there's no smug smile on his face. He doesn't get any kicks out of this. Sometimes he wonders why he metes out punishment when he himself can't even get any satisfaction from it. It's an embarrassment even serving it, despite the fact that the person had clearly done something to deserve it.

There's a questioning little gaze upwards at him. "Is it?" that look says. Most of the time, anyway. They know what's coming generally, though there are occasions where hand on heart they're convinced they've done nothing wrong to warrant it, in which case it's usually a scowl, or an indignant complaint. His reaction is always the same though, a placid look that's says "you know what you've done wrong, don't you? Now it's time to take your medicine."

It should be punishment enough to be served coffee that doesn't even contain the all important caffeine, from which the drink derives its name. It's an even worse punishment ttan it doesn't qualify as real coffee by taste either. When you're spoiled three times a day by the finest brew on earth, it's a very long way to come down after that. Some would say it's bordering on cruel. He might need to double check the Geneva Convention and make sure he's in the clear on that front.

Ianto may try his best to be subtle about it, especially when only one of them is undergoing a coffee detention, but it becomes pretty readily apparent to the rest of the team that someone has been sent to sit in the naughty corner. The facial expression gives it all away, especially if they're siting in close quarters. Jack has been known to publicly spit it back in the mug, good manners be damned, whilst Owen can take one sniff and avoid drinking it altogether. The girls are much better behaved about it, taking their punishment, ironically, like a man, drinking it down, even thanking him afterwards. Jack and Owen however are of the distinct opinion that if he's going to make decaf, better that he not bother at all. They'll go out for real coffee later, and then pray to every God ever created that they don't get caught. Getting caught would be even worse, and only serve to extend their sentence. And there are other punishments that Ianto can administer for such open flouting of his rules.

There needs to be a system in place for dealing with misdemeanors, but that doesn't mean anyone has to like it.