Torchwood: Fanfic: The horror beneath

[m_findlow]

Title: The horror beneath
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Gwen, Jack, Tosh, Owen
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,849 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for juliet316's prompt "Torchwood, author's choice, cleaning up after a messy mission" at fic_promptly
Summary: Torchwood deals Gwen yet another harsh lesson

She was terrified that she might be sick. For God's sake, whatever you do, Gwen, don't be sick.

She braced herself for the howling wail, but it never came. He just knelt there, hunched over in complete silence. The only sound she could hear was the pounding of the blood in her own head.

'Get him out of here,' she heard Jack say.

Owen shuffled next to Gwen, tucking his gun into the back of his belt, and stepping forward. She tensed. As soon as Owen made to touch Ianto, he was going to lash out like a wild animal, she was sure. The reality of it all was going to come crashing down on him, forcing him to react. Instead, it was as if his soul had left his body, just an empty shell for Owen to pick up and drag away. As they passed through the door, she wanted to reach out and console him, but something held her back, as if she was terrified of what a show of empathy might do. She kept her eyes fixed on Jack the whole time, his face frozen in a look of anger and betrayal. It startled her when he finally spoke, now that Ianto and Owen were out of earshot.

'I want it all dismantled and burned.'

She couldn't be sure when she'd started moving towards the mess and the carnage. It was like wandering through a nightmare, or some kind of out of body experience, as if she was there, but not there.

In the darkness she'd only taken notice of the glinting metal machinery that had bound her in its grip just a few hours ago. It wasn't until her eyes adjusted that she saw the room for what it was. This was a hideaway, a sanctuary. In one corner was a lumpy looking mattress, a sparse handful personal effects and nothing more. With a detached realisation, she concluded that Ianto had been living down here, amongst the horror and the fear. It felt wrong to suddenly be invading such a private space.

'Tosh, make sure that thing is powered off,' Jack said, watching Gwen moving slowly around the room, getting closer to the machine than he was comfortable with, given everything that had happened.

Whilst Tosh moved closer to her, something caught her eye on the ground. She knelt down to inspect it, turning over the rectangular shape, revealing the photo frame that had been knocked over from somewhere nearby. There was a long crack running through the glass from one side to the other, but it couldn't distort the image underneath. It was just like any of a dozen photos she had of her and Rhys, dotted around their apartment, innocuous and carefree. They looked so happy together. Had she ever seen Ianto look happy like that in all the time she'd known him? Had she ever truly known him at all? It occurred to her that she'd never even asked him if he had a girlfriend. He was handsome enough, clever, and he'd always been so sweet. It wasn't as if he wasn't attractive. She'd just always taken him for being shy, and he worked such long hours, she'd just assumed. It was just like he'd said, when had any of them ever stopped to ask him anything about himself? What else had she taken for granted?

She ran her fingers across the picture and felt a presence behind her. Not a ghost of a lover now gone, but Jack's tall frame, creating a dark shadow over her.

'They look so happy,' she said.

'All in the past now,' he replied.

She made to undo the back of the frame and take the photo out, but Jack stopped her.

'Burn it.'

'But,'

'All of it,' he said, his tone broaching no argument.

She wished she'd known; wished he'd said something rather than just keeping all of this hidden away. Always with a friendly smile and a polite word to say, was Ianto. When he frowned it was because he was deep in thought over something that required his diligent application. She'd never realised that all of it was a lie to hide the trauma and the suffering going on underneath. She laid the frame back down on the ground. Perhaps later when Jack wasn't looking she'd come back for it.

She stepped hesitantly up to the body. She'd never really had to deal with dead bodies when she'd worked for the police. A bit of a look to determine the most likely cause of death and that was about it. Even that was left to the more senior detectives, generally. The paramedics were always on hand to do the rest. She'd never have to see it again after that moment, except maybe in photos from the scene. This was altogether different. This time, she was so close she could touch it, something that normal crime scenes would never allow.

It terrified her, thinking how close it had come to killing her, but now that she saw it properly, all she could see was the human that had been trapped inside. No wonder poor Ianto couldn't separate the two. She brushed her fingers across the cheek, still warm, the skin soft beneath her touch. She'd been a person once. Flesh and blood, a beating heart and the centre of someone else's whole world. She wasn't sure she wouldn't have done everything just the same if it had been her Rhys. No one would be able to convince her otherwise that he wasn't still in there somewhere. She'd do anything to save him. Anything.

'It's not human, so don't kid yourself,' came the harsh words.

Gwen bit her tongue, holding back whatever she'd wanted to say. How could Jack be so cold-hearted? She knew that it was dangerous, or had been, but now it was just a reminder of something that had been lost. There'd be no body to bury, nothing to mourn once they were done here. How could you ever find a way to move on after that? It would be like she was never truly gone. Always just a ghost to haunt the shadows and the dark spaces that lurked everywhere. A whisper to fill in the silence of all the long, lonely nights to come.

When she looked up at Jack, he was standing there with some kind of large tool, hovering over the other end of the body, preparing to dismantle it. She couldn't do it. She couldn't stand there and help cut someone's lover into little pieces.

'I'm sorry... I can't,' she said.

He looked back at her with a stony expression. 'Then go help Tosh pull apart the conversion machine,' he said, effectively dismissing her from the task.

She turned her back on him, closing her eyes as she heard the tool start up, grinding and sawing, trying hard not to let tears fall down her cheeks, picturing his actions in her mind's eye. She wouldn't ever be able to face Ianto again, knowing what they'd done.

Tosh was specifically avoiding looking at Jack as well. She'd put the other body in the body bag, ready for Owen when came back. It was less of a threat, but would be destroyed nonetheless. There was no taking chances. She'd been there in London when they'd helped clean up the carnage from Canary Wharf, and knew very clearly Jack and Owen's feelings on the matter.

The conversion machine was quite something else. Tosh had wanted to understand how they worked, to pull it apart and put it back together again, but Jack had stressed how dangerous the whole thing was, and so its technology woukd remain a mystery.

She saw the pale, flushed look on Gwen's face as she came over.

'I can't believe he built this out of scrap parts from London,' she said. She knew she probably shouldn't attribute credit to Ianto for its design, but it was remarkable all the same. Months down here and they hadn't even known, as it slowly used their power, hacking into their systems and taking what information it needed.

'He thought he was saving her,' Gwen replied.

'He couldn't have known,' she said. Couldn't or wouldn't, she wondered.

Gwen cringed as she followed Tosh's instructions, hearing Jack behind her still cutting away. For the first time since she'd started working here, she felt properly scared. Weevils were one thing, but in the end they were just aliens; creatures with base instincts that acted for their own survival and nothing more. The true fear came from what was hiding right here in the hub with them. Did she really know any of them and what they were capable of? Would she uncover that truth before it killed her?

At some point she heard Jack zipping up a bag, before leaving. She chanced a look over her shoulder. The body was gone, just a pool of blood and metal shavings left where it had been. She tried her best to ignore it, continuing on with the task Tosh had given her.

When Owen finally returned, she looked up at him. He'd been gone a long time. In the back of her mind, she had to know. Jack had threatened to execute Ianto, and Jack hadn't returned since. The fear must have shown in her eyes. Owen very subtly shook his head. She felt a rush of relief at that, though she wasn't sure if that was selfish of her. She didn't think Ianto deserved death, no matter what he'd done. She only hoped that despite it all, Jack felt the same.

'How's it going, Tosh?' Owen asked, coming over to check on her progress.

'Could use a hand.'

'Right. Cleaning supplies in the closet down the hall,' Owen said, addressing Gwen. 'I'll finish up here with Tosh and we'll take everything that's left down to the incinerator.'

Gwen nodded silently. Somehow she knew that she'd been relegated back to being their newbie. Dealing with Cybermen was something that their old team had done; the team before Gwen. Having come so close to being destroyed by them tonight, she sensed the inner camaraderie of the three people she worked with. They were remembering the last time, and consoling one another on their narrow escape. Somehow she didn't quite fit into the picture. Like Ianto, she was still an outsider.

It was only now, as she dragged the heavy mop and bucket across the floor, looking down, she realised she was standing in blood. Not blood from the delivery girl, whom they'd shot, but blood that had been pooling where the Cyberwoman had been. It felt wrong. Robots didn't bleed; people bled. She'd been more than just some monster to defeat. She'd been so much more before the machines had taken away all of her humanity. Gwen wanted to cry for the lover who wasn't here to grieve for her.

She took hold of the mop, sweeping it across the floor in a long, slow arc, watching it turn red, tears silently running down her face.

Comments

[jo02]

I really liked this.

[bk_forever]

I hope Gwen salvaged the photograph. It was harsh of Jack to say that should be destroyed too; what if it was the only picture of Lisa Ianto had left?