Torchwood: Fanfic: All that we can hope for

[m_findlow]

Title: All that we can hope for
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Gwen, Jack, Rhys
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 893 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for lannamichaels prompt "Any, any, intentions matter more than actions" at fic_promptly
Summary: Gwen doesn't know how to make things right.

Jack knocked on the door, waiting for someone to open it. When it didn't, he knocked again. Finally he heard a shuffling, and the door snapped open, revealing Rhys in a dressing gown and slippers.

'Oh, it's you,' he said, scowling. 'World ending again, is it?'

'Not today,' he replied, smiling far too brightly for this hour of the morning.

Rhys narrowed his eyes at Jack. 'What d'you want, then?'

'Your lovely wife. Assuming that's okay.'

'Jack?' came the bleary response from behind Rhys.

'Up and attem, Gwen.'

'Rift alert?'

'Nope. Breakfast,' he said.

She slumped in the passenger seat of the car, wondering why Jack was getting her out of bed so early and why he seemed to be fixated on breakfast.

'What are we doing here, Jack?' she said, staring out over the bay from where Jack had parked the car on the edge of the old docks. She fingered the wrappings of her bacon butty whilst Jack was hoovering his down with his usual gusto. Outside the sun was only just leaking over the horizon.

'Breakfast.'

'I'm not really hungry,' she said, passing her untouched meal in his direction.

'Okay, but I wanted to talk about yesterday.'

Gwen sighed. Yesterday was the very last thing she wanted to talk about. Instead she pulled the latch on the car door and stepped out, walking up to the edge of the dock and letting the wind blow her hair around. Somewhere behind her, she could sense Jack standing there.

'I can't undo what I've done. I've taken away the last good memory she had of her son and replaced it with that screaming... thing.'

Jack cringed at her words. Jonah wasn't a thing. He was a victim. An innocent boy who'd had his life stolen by the rift, left scarred and damaged because Jack couldn't stop it from happening.

'I should have listened to you,' she said. She shook her head. 'But I couldn't let it go. I just had to know, and I had to prove to you that you were wrong.'

'You saw a grieving mother trying to find her son, and a son who would have done anything to see his mother again,' Jack said

'Every time I close my eyes, all I can hear is that scream.'

'It keeps me awake some nights, too,' he confessed.

'That poor woman will never be able to erase those memories. I did that to her.' She spun to face him. 'Why didn't you stop me?'

Jack sighed. 'I wanted you to be right, too.'

'All I did was make things worse.'

'It's our intentions that matter more than our actions. You tried to give Nikki closure.' Jack sighed again. 'People just aren't ready to know about what else is out there. If I could find a way to reunite the people taken by the rift with their families, find a way to stop it happening at all...' he trailed off.

'There's really no way?'

Jack shook his head, staring out over the slate grey waters. 'How many times have I already fought Ianto on this?' He let out a mirth filled chuckle. 'You two are more alike than you know. Must be that fiery Welsh blood.'

'He knew and didn't say anything,' Gwen said. 'All this time he knew...'

'It pained him not to, believe me. I know you all mean well, but... I can't fix this. None of us can. Tosh would want to spend all her energy figuring out a way to predict the spikes. Owen would want to fix all their wounds. Ianto wants to do the place up like a proper rehabilitation centre. You want to reconcile with the families. The place would consume you all.'

'So, it's better for you to shoulder all of that yourself?'

'I can handle it.'

'Can you?' she questioned him. 'Is that what you tell yourself? You're the one saying intentions are more important than actions. Isn't it enough that we mean well? That we want to help?'

He wished it were. 'We can make them comfortable. Given them medical attention and a safe place to recuperate, but the truth is none of them will ever be able to face the world they once knew ever again. You and Ianto, Owen and Tosh.... None of you will ever stop trying to make things right.'

'I'm not sure I know what right is, anymore,' Gwen said. It was so easy to look at the world through Torchwood coloured glasses and see the person hiding behind the disfigurement, before remembering her first encounter with a weevil, and how much it terrified her on the inside. 'Is that why you brought me out here?' she asked. 'To tell me I was wrong, but that it's okay?' After spending all of last night telling Rhys about Jonah and his mother, no amount of empathy could take away the feelings of guilt at having made the situation worse.

Jack laid a hand on her shoulder. 'No. I brought you here to tell you that none of us are wrong, and none of us are right, either. Sometimes there is no right answer.'

'Doesn't help Nikki Bevan.'

'No, but maybe some day she'll understand why you did what you did. And she'll know that it came from a good place. In the end, that's all we can hope for.'

Comments

[jo02]

Yes, I really liked this.

And here's a thing. Much as Gwen pontificates and blunders around in this episode and rides roughshod and makes a mess, I really feel that Jack is the bigger anti-hero of this episode.

He's the one with the secrets that shouldn't be secrets from anybody in the team; and he's the one that handles Gwen so badly that of course she's going to be even more determined.

They push each other's buttons, but he's the boss and he really should have handled it better - way before this episode even started.

Makes me wish I could see the backstory of how Ianto found out about Flat Holm - although I tend to agree with the many fan stories written where he found out by accident while Jack was away for that year.

[bk_forever]

Jack couldn't have stopped Gwen. He tried repeatedly, but she refused to listen, refused to stop trying to find out, and when she did find out, she still thought she knew best and wouldn't listen to reason. Headstrong doesn't begin top cover it.

I feel bad for Nikki and Jonah, nothing can undo what Gwen has done to them. Jack didn't want anyone else having o shoulder that burden. He's not perfect, but he tries to spare his team whatever pain he can. If there were something that could be done, beyond what he's already done, he'd do it in a heartbeat, but he's been around long enough to know some things can't be fixed. It would be nice if Gwen learned that lesson