Torchwood: Fanfic: Not so mellow yellow

[m_findlow]

Title: Not so mellow yellow
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Owen, Jack, Myfanwy
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 753 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Any, any, yellow really isn't your colour" at fic_promptly
Summary: Owen's latest medical breakthrough has some unusual side effects.

Ianto sighed as he squeezed more of the goo from the tube, setting about rubbing it in. As he watched the bright yellow skin under his hands, he could see that the cream was finally having some impact, repairing the dry flaking skin of his favourite Torchwood resident.

'I'm really sorry, girl,' he apologised for the umpteenth time. 'Owen promised me that it was safe.'

Well, he supposed that technically it had been. He'd been horrified when Owen had diagnosed Myf with having mites.

'But I keep everything clean!'

'Doesn't matter,' Owen said. 'Could've been in the straw, or maybe she picked them up on her nightly wanderings. Nothing you could've done.'

'Be that as it may, what do we do about it?'

'I've got an aerosol spray you can use. It'll clear the whole area she's using as her nest, plus her.'

Ianto quirked an eyebrow at him. He just happened to have a solution at hand? 'And it's safe?'

'Hundred percent. Something I've been working on based on that research the Shadow Proclamation gave us. Less invasive that traditional remedies because these can be used without having to treat the patient separately.'

'And you decided that the first thing we needed was a spray for mites?'

'It works on other things too, you know,' Owen said, annoyed at Ianto's lack of faith in him. 'One day you'll thank me when we can treat the common cold with an aerosol.'

Owen had spent the afternoon cooking up a batch sufficient to cover the whole area near the roof where Myf liked to roost. Ianto planned attacking the tunnels as well, since that was her route outside at night, and just as likely to be in need of treating. He wasn't going to take any chances that there might be more of the little buggers lurking in there.

It had certainly worked, and the next morning Owen had done a thorough inspection and confirmed she was mite free. Ianto was mightily pleased until he woke up the day after and discovered the rather unexpected side affect the spray had. Myf was a bright as a banana. It looked like someone had come along in the night and painted her up from head to toe. Assured that it wasn't some practical joke Owen and Jack were playing on him, there was not much he could do, but neither could he think about anything else.

'She's bright yellow, Owen!' he cried.

'It's fine,' he said, trying not to laugh at the situation. 'Seems to be a skin reaction to the chemicals. The upper dermis will heal and the affected skin will just flake off. Here,' he said, passing Ianto a tube.

'What's this?'

'Moisturiser to help with the irritation. Use it twice daily.'

It was true that despite her new pallette, Myf seemed otherwise happy and healthy, and being mite free was a bonus. If anything she was enjoying the fact that twice a day she was now getting a full body rub down with the moisturising cream.

He took another handful of cream and rubbed it onto her back as she purred in pleasure. A shame he wasn't enjoying it nearly as much. No one was offering to give him a full body massage.

'Hopefully it's only a few more days,' he promised. 'It's a very unflattering shade.'

Jack leaned against the edge of the wall, coming to check on the pair of them. 'You know, yellow really isn't your colour,' he said, watching them.

Ianto stared down at his own hands and arms, also brights as a canary, as was his face and the rest of him, hidden beneath his suit. It turned out that the aerosol had affected him just as much, being stuck in the tunnels as he fumigated them. It had just taken a little bit longer to turn yellow than his prehistoric compatriot.

'I know,' he said. 'I was just saying the same thing.'

Jack grinned at him. 'So, does that cream work on you as well?'

'So Owen tells me.' The dry itching skin was driving him crazy and it was all he could do not to scratch. Right now, he'd try anything.

'I'll bet there's some hard to reach spots you could use a hand with?' Jack said, blue eyes sparkling with suggestive intent.

'Actually, there are,' Ianto replied. 'Here, you hold the top of her wing out and I'll get in underneath.'

'Not quite what I meant,' Jack said, unhappily taking the leathery wing in hand.

Comments

[bk_forever]

Well, once Myf is moisturised, Jack can drag Ianto away and give him the same treatment. I'm sure he'll appreciate it, but Myf has to come first.

[m-findlow.livejournal.com]

He certainly deserves it after Owen's little error.