m_findlow: (Default)
[personal profile] m_findlow

Title: All arms and legs
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,742 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] badly_knitted's prompt "Torchwood, Ianto, "Get your tentacles out of my coffee!"" at fic_promptly
Summary: Jack's up to his usual unique brand of trouble.

Ianto caught the subtle movement from the corner of his eye, and pulled his coffee mug two inches closer, before turning his attention back to the UNIT report in front of him. A minute or so later, he spotted the movement again, easing the mug another inch closer without taking his eyes off the report.

"The latest results from extensive testing indicate that the current power requirements sufficient to sustain a viable forcefield fifty feet in diameter are..."

'Get your tentacles out of my coffee!' Ianto warned, watching as the lithe purple tendrils retracted suddenly, caught in the act. Beside him on the desk, it was hard to tell if Jack looked contrite or not. Octopuses didn't score very highly in the facial features category.

'I have no idea what affect caffeine has on cephalopods,' he added, settling the matter. 'You could make yourself very sick.' Not that it had stopped him from stealing Ianto's toast right off his plate earlier, pulling it into the mouth on the underside of his body, leaving crumbs everywhere as he chewed it sufficiently to get it in the tiny hole, using every last limb to force it in. And Ianto had thought his manners were atrocious before!

Jack burbled out a sound that was unmistakably displeasure, curling the mauve coloured appendages back in on himself as he hung half in the tank, half out of it. Even in his current state, Ianto could tell he was sulking.

'You've got no one to blame but yourself,' he said. 'Transformative technology goes in the secure archives for a reason.'

Jack had often teased and taunted him, trying to lure Ianto in with promises that he could be anything, just for a little while, and wasn't there anything he'd ever dreamt about being.

That was the trick. It was all well and good to fantasise about such things, but dangerous to think that the possibility was real. Once you set off down that path, what was to say you'd ever want to come back to the real world?

He wouldn't have minded to know what it was like to be a bird, flying free in the sky, up in the clouds, watching the world so small down below. Or a dragon, all glittering red scales, huge leathery wings and tail -fire breathing, of course - just like the stories he'd read as a boy. But that was just childhood fantasy. Imagine if he got stuck that way permanently. It would be very hard to hide a dragon in Cardiff, and very lonely if he was the only one.

Yes, transformative technology was dangerous, yet it didn't stop Jack from occasionally toying with things he shouldn't. He should have known better, Ianto thought. Anything that came through the rift had a good chance of being damaged in the fall. Even if it wasn't, not all technology worked perfectly, or at least in the way humans expected it to. How humans interpreted things could be quite different to other species and cultures, and so the way they invented devices to work had similar rules. In essence, what that meant was you didn't always get what you expected when you used one.

Case in point, last night's efforts by Jack to fiddle with something he and Owen had picked up during the day. He'd explained that he only had to envisage what he wanted to alter and the device would do the rest.

'It's just temporary,' Jack said. 'Twenty four hours max.'

When Ianto had seen the results of his transformation, he immediately asked the question. 'And what was it you thought you were trying to achieve?' he said, staring down at the pale purple octopus style creature now inhabiting their bed. 'Whatever it was, it's not very kinky. Not to me, anyway.'

Fortunately Jack was still capable of speech, albeit it was somewhat more of a gurgle and required Ianto to listen closely to pick out the words. 'I wanted extra arms so that I could wrap you up in them and tease you all over.'

Ianto frowned at him. 'And how specific were you in this request?'

Jack gurgled a little, then confessed that he'd pictured himself a bit like a octopus, arms everywhere.

'Seems it took your request quite literally.' He wanted to laugh and tell Jack that it served him right. Instead it was that growing sense of "why do I put up with you?" knowing that their one night off would now be spent dealing with the consequences, rather than the intimate night of lovemaking Ianto had been looking forward to. At least he was small enough that Ianto could cradle him in his arm to take him back upstairs, really no larger than a regular octopus, though just as awkwardly slimy.

'Suppose I should be grateful you're not some ten foot long alien squid,' he said. Jack burbled some more, though it sounded naughty, as if given the possibility, he might have continued on with their planned night's activities.

'Twenty four hours maximum, you say? And then you'll be back to normal?'

'Uh huh.'

Ianto set Jack down on his desk and went downstairs to one of their supply rooms. Inside were any number of containment units used for storing aliens that came through the rift. He selected one of the less threatening looking ones - just a clear perspex box - and took up back upstairs.

'What are you doing?' Jack asked, watching as Ianto set it down and began filling it with a large jug.

'Octopuses live in water, don't they? Don't want you drying out. Do you suppose you're a saltwater species? I don't know of any freshwater octopuses.'

Several trips from the kitchen later and a large serving of table salt, he picked Jack up and held him over the top of the tank. Jack reached down one of his tentacles and dipped it in. He quickly shot it back up towards his bulbous body.

'It's cold!'

'Oh, you're tropical now, are you?'

'I grew up by the beach,' Jack replied.

'Of course you did.' Ianto sighed, scooping out some of the water into the jug, carting it back to the kitchen and returning with a jug of hot water in its place. He swirled it around, testing the temperature. Trust Jack to be fussy.

'Better?' he asked, as Jack tentatively lowered himself in.

'Mmrrrbboobl,' he uttered, as the water concealed the rest of the barely intelligible words.

'I'll take that as a yes.' Satisfied that Jack was settled in for the night, he turned towards Jack's own bunker, beginning the climb down the narrow ladder.

Jack reached up two tentacles and gripped the edge of the tank, pulling himself up. 'Where you you going?'

'Bed, since date night is ruined. Again. See you in the morning.'

When he returned showered and dressed the next day, he found Jack curled up in his tank, awake and a most lurid shade of fuchsia, far from the dappled mauve he'd been last night.

'Morning,' Ianto greeted. 'Sleep okay?'

He made the mistake of resting his hand on the edge of the tank. Jack wrapped two of his tentacles around it and tugged it sharply into the water, drowning the arm of his shirt and jacket.

'Hey!' Ianto yelled, trying to pull his hand free and failing. The rest of Jack's tentacles were latched firmly to the side of the tank, using their suction to hold firmly. Jack slowly crawled his way up to the top, never letting go of Ianto's wrist. Ianto was surprised by just how strong those suckers were, gripping his arm tight.

'The water got cold and I was lonely. You left me here!'

It was hard to be scared by Jack's anger, though it went some ways to explaining his colouring. A bright pink octopus just wasn't going to strike fear in anyone's heart.

'Oh, come here, you sulk,' Ianto said, reaching in and scooping him out, warming him up pressed against his torso, ignoring the wet sliminess since his suit was already now destined for the dry cleaners. 'Couldn't very well sleep up here on the desk next to you, could I?' He gave Jack's head a little stoke as the suckers slowly unfurled themselves from around his arm, toying instead with the buttons on his jacket, fading back to a much paler shade of purple.

'You're not as cuddly as you think, you know,' Ianto said, trying not to be put off by the cold, rubbery flesh. 'Next time a kitten would be preferable. Not to mention the fact that you've put me right off eating calamari.'

Jack reached up a tentacle and touched Ianto's cheek with it. He cringed despite the tenderness with which Jack attempted the gesture.

'Best get us both cleaned up before the others arrive. To save you the embarrassment of having to explain yourself,' he said, though it was his own dignity he was trying to salvage. He didn't really want to have anyone picturing what Jack had intended. 'I'll tell the others you've gone out for the day on one of your random lone wolf projects. You can hide down in the archives with me until you transform back.'

Jack gurgled something akin to happiness at the prospect spending the whole day together. 'Just you and me, down in the dark, all alone,' Jack replied, trying to loosen Ianto's tie. Ianto let him, only because he'd have to change clothes anyway.

Until he was properly dressed again, Jack would be going back in his tank, just as soon as Ianto had it on a trolley he could take downstairs. He'd also need to fetch one of those mini thermal generators, hoping they were waterproof. It was going to be a bit tricky explaining why he kept needing to come upstairs to steal the kettle, otherwise. Then he added towels to the list. Lots of towels. He was kidding himself if he thought Jack would sit still and not splash around. Plus, he'd be wet when he transformed back. The tank would probably break right open. Hmm, he might need to think that one through a bit more. The last thing he needed was a tidal wave all over his desk.

'Just remember to behave yourself, or I'll find a lid for that tank,' Ianto told him. 'I've been googling all about octopuses, and they don't live very long after mating, so don't be getting any ideas.'

Date: 2019-12-14 10:51 pm (UTC)
bk_forever: (Eye Roll)
From: [personal profile] bk_forever
I lie octopuses, and Jack is a very cute one. I just hope he'll be good down in the archives, at least until he transforms back. I giggled at him testing the water and finding it too cold!

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