m_findlow

Title: Missing in action
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto, Coat
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 2,555 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for badly_knitted's prompt "Torchwood, Jack/Ianto + Coat. Coat is stolen" at fic_promptly
Summary: Coat has gone missing and it's up to the boys to track it down.

Jack burst through the cogwheel door, disrupting the peace that came with there only being one other person in the hub right now.

'Ianto, hit that coffee switch and make it a double. I'm gonna need one!' he declared.

Ianto sighed, internalising his eye roll. In truth, he could do with one himself. 'How'd you go?' he asked, walking across to the kitchenette and beginning the process that he could have done blindfolded. It was as good an opportunity to catch up as any, whilst he didn't need his full attention on what he was doing.

'Junk, junk and more junk,' Jack replied, leaning against the counter, reaching across for the biscuit jar, helping himself. 'When was the last time the rift dropped off something useful, Ianto?'

'Depends on your definition of useful,' he replied. The desk chair he'd recovered two weeks ago was quite good. It was from some time off in the future when having portable seat warmers was standard issue for office furniture. It certainly got plenty of use down in the archives where it was much colder, in order to preserve the items housed down there. He didn't need preserving quite so much.

It was only as he was thinking about the cold that the question popped into his head. 'Weren't you wearing your coat when you left? It is cold outside, isn't it?'

Jack seemed to only notice that fact now as well. 'Probably left it in the car. I'll go fetch it whilst you finish up.'

Jack was baffled as he opened the door to the car. It wasn't there in the passenger seat, nor could he find it in the back seat or the boot. Annoyed, he returned to the hub.

'It's gone.'

'Your sanity?' Ianto joked, passing him his mug.

'No, my coat.'

'What do you mean it's gone?'

'It's not there. Someone must have taken it.'

'Taken it? Who takes a coat?' Good luck to them if they thought they could break into the SUV. It had a triple deadlock.

'It's not just any coat, Ianto. It's my coat!'

'I'm sure no one has taken it. You probably just misplaced it.' He turned and looked at Jack. 'I thought I put a label on the inside with your name and phone number? You know, in case you lost it,' he said.

'You did, but I took it off.'

Ianto set his mug down on the table. 'Why?'

'Because I felt like a schoolboy with you having labeled my clothes!' He knew Ianto meant well, but there was only so much his often fragile pride could suffer.

'Well, at least someone would know who to contact if you lost it,' he replied.

'I don't lose stuff,' Jack argued.

'No, you just leave it lying around everywhere. I'm forever picking up after you.'

'I didn't leave it lying around. Someone stole it!'

Ianto tried his best to hide his own displeasure at the situation. Stealing seemed like a bit of a stretch. He knew how much Jack loved his coat, and Ianto had a very soft spot for it himself. It wasn't just a coat, it was Jack's coat, that had seen him through over a hundred and fifty years. No one could quite understand how it had survived all that time, not with Jack's propensity to destroy clothes in the line of duty. Ianto was forever patching it up for stains and minor tears, and sometimes more than minor tears.

Although his hand stitching was very fine, there was just no way that he could completely hide the damage inflicted on Jack's coat. Somehow though, he knew where every single stitch he'd ever sewn was located, and when he went searching for them weeks later, any evidence of his handiwork was impossible to see. Ianto suspected that Jack's coat had some of Jack's own restorative properties locked within its weave. He'd travelled in the TARDIS with it for a long time, and although Jack told him he hadn't been wearing it when Rose had made him immortal, he'd discovered it aboard the game station in the aftermath. How it had come to be there was beyond comprehension, but clearly it hadn't wanted to be parted from Jack. Some part of it lived forever just the same way Jack did.

Having Jack's coat gone now, upset him more than he could say. He only wished he'd been there at the time it had gone missing, so that he could carefully retrace Jack's steps using his photographic memory. Wait, actually, there was. 'Give me your phone,' Ianto said, putting his hand out.

'What?'

'Give me your phone!'

'You think my coat is gonna escape from its captor and head for the closest payphone?'

'Don't be ridiculous,' Ianto said. 'Your phone has a GPS chip. I can trace your movements.'

'Hey, why didn't I think of that?'

Ianto rolled his eyes. 'Why indeed?'

What on earth were you doing this morning, Jack? Ianto exclaimed, having traipsed across half the city following Jack's trail. 'Perhaps we should have put the GPS tracker in your coat instead of your phone.' They'd been everywhere from Bute Park down to the docks, past the castle, out to Riverside, back down to the bay, and now they were right in the heart of the city. Everywhere they'd been so far though had turned up no sign of Jack's faithful coat.

'I've been busy!' Jack replied. 'The rift has been a nightmare lately and I've spent all morning playing catch up, following up on all the minor little spurts we've had whilst you guys have been handling the backlog from the rest of the larger spikes.'

That much was true. The rift had been going through one of its busy periods, going off two or three times every few hours for the last week. They'd been run off their feet handling retrievals and analyses. All those little insignificant blips just had to be set aside until they had the resources to deal with them. In all likelihood, most were non events - teaspoons or small paperbacks soaked in rift radiation that had been spat out - things that wouldn't cause the end of the world if they were picked up by locals. Despite that they still did their best to track them all down. Where the rift was concerned, you really never could be too careful.

'And now I'm cold!' Jack complained, rubbing his hands up and down his arms, looking oddly out of place with his shirt sleeves rolled down and set in place with his airplane cufflinks.

'I told you to put a jumper on before we came out,' Ianto replied, dressed warmly in his own coat against the brisk autumn breeze.

'We're not gonna find it,' Jack said. 'They took it.'

Ianto sighed. He'd yet to establish just who these people were that were serial coat kidnappers, but it didn't stop him asking the question again anyway. 'Who took it?'

'I don't know!' Jack said, sounding exasperated. 'But they did.'

Ianto grabbed him by his gesticulating hands, fed up with this wild goose chase. 'Jack, I want you to think very carefully. Where was the last place you actually remember having your coat?'

He really did have to think very hard. He'd been running around all morning, so he'd taken it off a couple of times, once or twice because he was too warm, another time to prevent it from getting snagged as he fought his way through a huge pile of rubbish abandoned down in a warehouse by the docks, following a faint signal that ended up being a plastic cactus. He thought he'd done well, avoiding the sharp rusted metal edges as he crawled through the mess, pleased that he could come home and report to Ianto that he hadn't damaged Coat one bit. Gods, where had he last seen it? He was following Ianto along the street, into the busy arts district when it hit him.

'The theatre!' he cried, picking up his pace as the lights outside its frontage came into view, jogging up the red carpeted steps. 'I was checking out those reports of ghosts in the light rigging.' He stopped just in front of the box office, staring at the brass railing that split the space into two separate queues. 'I dropped it here before the stage manager took me inside. Didn't want it getting in the way.'

Ianto supposed that was fair. A long coat like Jack's would get caught navigating the tricky maze of equipment and cabling that high up. The last thing he wanted was for Jack to take a tumble fifty feet to the stage below.

'Well, it's not here now,' Ianto said.

'So, someone did take it!' Jack cried.

'Or,' Ianto said, following a more logical explanation, 'the theatre staff picked it up after you abandoned it and took it to their lost property cupboard.'

'Why would they do that?'

'People leave things behind all the time. In a big theatre like this, it's probably part of their job to be on the lookout for items left behind.'

'Huh,' Jack huffed. He walked up to the main counter, past the box office. There was only one girl stood behind it, since there wasn't a show on until later that evening. The rest of the theatre foyer was empty except for them.

'Hi, you're back,' she said, smiling, her silvery waistcoat glittering in the lights almost as much as her smile.

'Uh, yeah,' Jack said, confused. 'You guys didn't happen to pick up a coat I might have left here, did you?'

'Is this a different coat to the one you left with our cloakroom?'

'A different one?'

'D'you have your ticket?'

'We didn't come to see the show.'

'She means the cloakroom ticket,' Ianto whispered to him.

'Oh, uh, no.'

'Oh, well,' she said. 'Don't suppose it matters. I'd remember you anywhere, not meaning any offense,' she quickly added, blushing.

'None taken,' Jack said, reverting to his usual charm. 'I've just got one of those faces.' She beamed at the attention as he gave her one of his winning smiles.

'It was in a box when you brought it here, so I've left it just as is,' she explained, returning from the cloakroom with the box in hand. There was no mistaking the familiar blue grey wool that sat inside.

'You're an absolute gem, Ceri,' Jack said, reading off her name tag, taking the box in hand. 'Thank you.'

'It's our pleasure, sir.'

'Cute uniform, by the way,' he said, before Ianto rolled his eyes and began pushing Jack back towards the door, also thanking her.

As they returned to the SUV, parked in a side street a few blocks away, Jack set the box down on the ground. He couldn't wait another moment to pull out his coat and slip it back on. Before he did though, he noticed the small card resting on top.

'There's a card,' he said.

'Probably just the matching cloakroom ticket,' Ianto said.

Jack frowned at the small card, and the familiar cursive script printed on it.

"Thanks for loaning me Coat. It was mighty cold out there and these poor little guys would have frozen to death without it!

J."

Jack pulled back his coat from the top of the box it was seemingly folded into, revealing two dozen tiny furry pink balls housed within its folds. As soon as they saw him, they began to squeal and gurgle, jostling for attention.

'Grimbles,' Ianto said, leaning over and recognising the small creatures.

Owen had found one down in the sewers years ago, covered in muck and filthy smelling water. The poor thing had trembled something awful as Ianto had bathed it in warm water and soap, finally towelling it dry and brushing out the long, soft pink fur that reminded him of candy floss. They made for great pets, low maintenance, though intensely curious. They liked it best however when they were tucked in amongst soft objects - toys, blankets, clothes, or pretty much anything they could bury themselves in and go to sleep. Small wonder they were enjoying being nestled inside Jack's coat. Ianto enjoyed being wrapped in its softness himself.

'Baby ones,' Jack said. 'But where's momma?' He flipped the card over, spying more words on the back.

"Orphans, but I know you'll take care of them. Thanks, handsome. :) "

He handed it to Ianto who frowned at it just the same way, immediately recognising the handwriting.

'Told you it was stolen,' Jack said when Ianto finally looked at him, perplexed expression on his face.

Ianto knelt down and stuck a hand into the crate, touching the furry little creatures. One by one the Grimbles scrambled to suckle on his finger, mistaking it for their mother. 'I thought you said you weren't allowed to cross your own timeline?' he said, unable not to fall in love with the little fluff balls. Full grown they'd be the size of a large grapefruit, but these guys were only about the size of squash balls. He could have collected three or four in his hand and still had room to spare.

Jack gave a noncommittal shrug. 'It's more of a guideline than a hard and fast rule.'

It didn't really answer the question for him. Why would Jack be here, in this time and place? What reason could he have for crossing his own timeline?

'You think they came through the rift on one of those minor surges?' he asked.

'Anything's possible with the number we've had lately. Guess we're just lucky they were found in time.'

'A case of right place, right time?' Ianto found that hard to believe.

Jack just shrugged again. Who was he to argue with another version of himself? He had a sneaking suspicion that his Coat had in fact gone looking for him. He'd never quite understood how it was that Coat always seemed to be there right when he needed it.

He took the top of his coat and folded it back over the Grimbles, making sure to tuck the sides in to keep them nice and warm until they could get them back to the hub, placing the box carefully in the back seat. They needed his coat more than he did right now. He was sure he could always convince Ianto to help warm him up.

'Let's go home,' Jack said.

'You're the boss,' Ianto replied, accepting that this little mystery would have to remain just that. At least until he could get back to the hub and review the CCTV from every camera within three city blocks. He wasn't quite so quick to accept that there were two Jack's floating around his city, and that the second one just happened to be here helping them clear their backlog of rift spikes.

'Guess you were right after all. Someone really did steal it.' He slipped into the passenger seat and waited for Jack to join him.

'And you had so little faith in me,' Jack replied, 'thinking I was crazy that someone stole it.' It still counted if you stole it from yourself, didn't it?

'I shall never question your insanity ever again,' Ianto promised.

'You did good, Coat,' Jack quietly said, before shutting the door and jumping into the driver's seat.