Slashthedrabble Challenge 488 - Poor tactics

[m_findlow]

Title: Poor tactics
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto/Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 500 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 488 - Diversion at slashthedrabble
Summary: It seemed like a good plan at the time.

'We need a diversion,' Jack declared, having finally conceded that their attempts to capture the alien had so far been a complete disaster.

Ianto rolled his eyes at the obvious statement. He would have suggested that from the outset. It was equally obvious that their quarry was quite low on the IQ scale, pottering about aimlessly, yet just quick enough to evade capture by any conventional means. It was far more  interested in what else was going on off in the distance than it was taking notice of them.   

He had the nets out, along with his sedatives, since it was on the large side, about the same size as a cow. It was really nothing more than a fat, hairy haystack, than must have had legs hidden beneath its shaggy exterior, and a rather stupid expression on its long face. There was no negotiating with something of such simple intellect. All they had to do was outsmart it, which by rights, shouldn't be that hard an ask.

'Okay,' Ianto said, reviewing their options. 'If you climb up that that tree over there, he said, pointing to a large sturdy oak, you can drop the net over it.'

'Right, but how do I get it to come over to stand under the tree?'

'I'll be bait and lure it over. Just try not to capture me as well.'

Jack thought about this for a second. 'I don't like this plan.'

'Why not?'

'Well, for starters, why do I have to climb the tree?'

'Because if you fall out, snapping your neck is only temporary.'

'Okay, that's a good point. But I don't like you being the bait, either. Remember how well that went the last time you volunteered to distract a certain dinosaur?'

'For the record, it was you coming at her with that bloody great syringe that upset her, and secondly, we did succeed.'

'If you call being dropped from a height success,' Jack muttered.

'Be grateful I was there to catch you,' Ianto quipped. 'Now, are we doing this or not? You know, before it decides to lose interest in both of us and wander off into the city centre.'

'Yeah, alright,' Jack agreed.

Ianto watched as Jack clambered up the mighty oak, dragging his nets with him before finally positioning himself out on a thick branch, ready for action.

Down on the ground, Ianto had to move fast as the creature began plodding away towards the edge of the park and the busy thoroughfare. 'Oi, over here!' he yelled, though it ignored him. 'Hello!' He patted down his pockets for anything useful, but there was no chocolate; not even so much as a breath mint. All he had was his phone. He pulled it out and flashed the camera light at the creature. That did the trick, and soon he had it trotting towards him, A little too quickly, making him break into a run. Oh, bugger.

'Jack! You'd better be ready or I might be flattened!'

Comments

[bk_forever]

I hope this works and Ianto doesn't get mown down by the alien!

[m-findlow.livejournal.com]

It's pretty big and clumsy so hopefully Ianto's agility will allow him to dive out of the way. Poor silly creature. It's a shame to have to use the nets on it.