m_findlow

Title: Out of reach
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Johnson
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 508 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Any, any, steal my coffee and suffer the consequences" at fic_promptly
Summary: Jack's finding this nut harder to crack than expected.

The sharp pain that hit across the back of Jack's hand caused him to squeak out a very unmanly sound. 'Ow!' he cried, pulling back his hand and cradling it.

'Away from my coffee, Harkness,' Johnson warned him.

'But,'

'No buts.'

'But I'm your boss!'

She didn't even look away from her computer screen. 'Uh huh. So?'

'So, I'm allowed to do whatever I want.'

'Except when what you want is my coffee,' she replied.

'That wasn't what I was reaching for,' Jack lied.

'Don't you lie to me. I know I've only been here five minutes but Gwen has worded me up on what goes on around here.'

Jack grew defensive, standing up straighter and crossing his arms. 'Such as?'

'Such as knowing that Ianto punishes offences with decaf coffee.'

'That's decaf?' Jack asked, playing innocent. 'What did you do?'

'I didn't do anything. But I know for a fact that yours is. Which is why you've come trawling around to my desk, hoping you could do the old switcheroo and think I wouldn't notice.'

'I would never do any such thing,' he protested. 'That's deceitful and underhanded and,'

She gave him a firm stare and he felt his resolve crumble in the same way it used to when his mother gave him a similar look when he'd been a boy.

'Okay, so that's exactly what I was doing,' he confessed, 'but it's not fair. I didn't actually do anything wrong this time.'

'And Ianto is the dishonest kind that would make up misdemeanors to be punished,' she offered.

Jack was about to agree with her, then remembered that such words might find their way back to his lover, extending his caffeine detention even further. Somehow the rest of his team had already warned Johnson the kind of things she should expect, working for Torchwood.

'Okay, what if we shared?' he suggested. 'He'll never know.'

'No.'

'I'll give you five quid for the mug.'

'No.'

'Ten quid.'

'No.'

'Please. I'm dying here. You wouldn't kill your boss, would you?'

'You can't die. Even I know that.'

'But I can,' he said, just about on his knees. 'Slowly, painfully. Death by decaf. It's the worst kind of death there is.'

'You're pathetic, you know that? Take your punishment like man.' She didn't care what he'd done and whether it deserved punishing. It simply wasn't dignified, carrying on like a child.

'You're cruel, you know that?' Jack said, standing up and looking sulky.

'Goes with the special ops training,' she replied.

He lunged for the mug but Johnson's reflexes were quicker, earning him another painful slap.

'I have a loaded glock with a thirty round clip. Steal my coffee and suffer the consequences,' she said, fixing him with a firm stare that dared him to try it.

He growled and stepped away. 'Don't think this isn't going on your probationary record,' he warned .

'That's fine. Would that be filed away under "follows corporate policy" or "demonstrates assertiveness"?'

'Failure to comply with basic human rights,' Jack replied, stalking off.