Game of Thrones: Fanfic: Keeping their heads

[m_findlow]

Title: Keeping their heads
Fandom: Game of Thrones
Characters: Tyrion, Cersei
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,025 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Any, any,"I shall have your head on a pike." "Oh good, it really is my best feature after all." " at fic_promptly
Summary: Things grow tense in Jaime's absence.

He was certain he could hear the swishing scarlet skirts across the stone floor long before the door itself was thrown open by Bronn, a tiny smirk on his arrogant face that said he was glad he'd be on the other side of the door once it closed again.

'Cersei, do come in,' Tyrion said, as if he had the final say in whether she entered or not. Trying to deny Cersei was like trying to shove water back out of a hole in a leaking ship.

The tall, elegant woman swept into the solar, long golden hair flowing around her face as she made for the silver platter, pouring a glass of Dornish red. 'I trust I'm not interrupting anything important?' she purred.

'What could possibly be more important than spending time in your lovely company?'

'I've often wondered the same,' she said, sitting down and lounging comfortably in the chair before the windows which looked out over the sparkling blue waters. 'What use does a Hand have for pretty views?' she asked. 'Surely you've more important matters to attend to in the name of the King?'

'That I do,' Tyrion agreed. 'So I trust you'll keep our meeting brief.' If only so he didn't have to spend any more time with her.

She gave him a brief condescending smile. 'I will. I only want to know what you mean to do to find Jaime.'

Oh, that little chestnut again, he sighed. 'Should you not be concerning yourself more with how my dear little nephew Joffrey intends on holding his throne? I hear that Stannis is circulating all kids of wild rumours about who Joffrey's real father is.' He paused, giving her a falsely surprised look. 'Could that be why you're so concerned for Jaime's safety? Afraid some Baratheon loyalists might take up arms against him?'

'Lies. All of it,' she said, taking a long draught from the goblet, her eyes turning to steel. 'Joffrey is the rightful King and Jaime should be at his side to protect him.'

'Which he might have been if he hadn't been off fighting Robb Stark's army, thanks to that boy King of ours who took the head of his father. Some might have forgotten that the North have long memories. Fighting the North is a fruitless exercise.'

'Have you no care for Jaime's wellbeing? He's you're brother,' Cersei hissed.

'Yes, a fact that had not escaped me despite our obvious similarities of appearance. Why I look in the mirror every morning and think of what a dashing figure I cut, and am immediately reminded of my dear brother Jaime.'

'How dare you mock me,' she seethed

'Perish the thought, sweet sister. I only say these things to you because unlike so many, you would not take my insults to heart. Jaime is the best swordsman I know. He is more than capable of keeping himself safe.'

She set the goblet down on the table. 'Then why hasn't he returned?'

'Might it be that the wide world has more to offer him now?' he suggested, amused by the look of disgust on Cersei's face at the insinuation. 'How many whorehouses are there between the North and King's Landing?' He watched in amusement as her face pinched, then just as quickly as it had shown itself, it disappeared behind that falsely pleasant demeanor.

'If it's Joffrey's safety you're concerned about,' she began, 'you should arrange to have a better Kingsguard. Perhaps some who've seen real battle.'

'The Kingsguard are not of my choosing,' Tyrion replied. 'That responsibility falls to their Lord Commander, who just so happens to be missing.'

'Yet another reason why you should be doing more to find him.'

'Jaime is not my responsibility.'

'How can you say that? You are the Hand. He should be your only responsibility.'

'Yes, let's forget running Seven Kingdoms. Jaime is much more important than the tenuous grip on power Joffrey currently holds. If the wrong person finds out he's a bastard,'

'Joffrey is the King!'

'A bastard King,' Tyrion repeated. 'Perhaps is it true what they say about the Targaryens marrying each other. Madness born of incest. When a child is born the gods flip a coin...'

Cersei stood up, towering over him with her full height, face thunderous. 'I shall have your head on a pike!'

'Oh good, it really is my best feature, after all.'

'Joffrey is the King. That is the only thing that matters.'

'And whilst we bicker about Jaime, I could be spending my time making sure Joffrey stays the King.'

She wanted to slap him, he could tell that much, but she quivered with anger in her silks before finally settling back into her seat, finishing her glass of wine and pouring another.

She pulled a face at the sound coming from somewhere off in the distance. 'What on earth is that noise?'

'That will be Bronn whistling.'

She gave a dismissive sigh. 'Why do you keep that repugnant sellsword?'

'I should think that rather obvious. Have not the Lannisters always held the tradition of rewarding those that have served us loyally?'

'I would not trust any sellsword.'

'Ah, you should have been delighted to meet my army of Black Ears and Stone Crows, then. Timmet would have dazzled you with his undying loyalty to coin and weaponry. Even Father could hardly find fault in that. They'd have made such very fine members of the Golden Company if only they had the intellect to cross the Narrow Sea.'

Cersei crossed one leg over the other and let a delicately slippered foot bounce up and down beneath the edge of her skirts. 'And what would someone such as you have to fear in King's Landing that would require such a force to protect you?'

'I haven't the faintest. Perhaps we should ask Jon Arryn and Ned Stark what there was to fear, hmm? It seems the position as Hand of the King is quite a bit more perilous in these days. Once upon a time it was only mad Kings we had to worry about, but I quite like my head right where it is.'