Slashthedrabble Challenge 511 - Drunk and disorderly

[m_findlow]

Title: Drunk and disorderly
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack, Owen
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 500 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 511 - Hungover at slashthedrabble
Summary: Owen doesn't need a degree in medicine to be able to diagnose a hangover, or so he thinks.

It was the sudden crashing sound that alerted Owen.

'M'okay!' came the mumbled cry from Jack above him.

Owen peered up from the corpse on his autopsy table as Jack came stumbling over, gripping the railing at the last minute and nearly toppling all the way over it. 'What are you doing?' he asked.

'Just tripped over a chair,' Jack replied, still holding the railing like it was keeping him upright. 'I mean, who leaves a chair there?'

'Where?'

'In front of a desk! That's just... ooh, is that the donut alien?'

Owen frowned at him. Jack was known for his short attention span, but this was odd behaviour even for him. 'Are you okay?'

'Fine,' he slurred.

'Well, you don't sound fine.' Owen heaved a sigh. 'Get down here and let me take a look at you.'

'S'nothing wrong with me,' Jack insisted. He took a few steps and looked very wobbly, walking like a newborn foal.

'Actually, maybe you shouldn't come down here,' Owen said, jogging up the stairs to meet him, helping to steady him by gripping his shoulders. 'Have you been drinking Jack?' He pulled a pen light from his pocket and flicked it back and forth in front of Jack's eyes, making him wince at the brightness.

'No.'

'You're sure about that? Poor motor skills, slurred speech, sensitivity to light. Doesn't take an expert to spot hungover. What on earth were you drinking?'

'Nothing,' he murmured, half hugging Owen. 'Coffee. Feel like coffee. Where's Ianto?'  

'Ianto is right here,' replied the man behind him. 'And you most definitely will not be getting coffee. That's the absolute last thing you need.'

Jack pouted, and Owen took the opportunity to divest his patient into the custody of their general support officer.

'I've never seen Jack hungover,' Owen observed. 'He must have been properly drunk last night. How come you've pulled up okay?'

Ianto gripped Jack tightly around his middle whilst Jack fiddled with the buttons on his waistcoat, suddenly fascinated by them. 'He's not hungover. He had one of those energy drinks four days ago and hasn't slept since. Now he's finally exhausted.'

'Hmm. I thought he'd seemed a little bit hyperactive, but with Jack it's so hard to tell.'

'I was wondering when he was going to come crashing down from it.'

'Well, crashing was about right.'

'You're telling me. I followed the trail of upended furniture which lead me here.'

Owen straightened, avoiding highlighting his misdiagnosis. 'A lack of sleep would account for him stumbling around and making no sense.'

'He won't be operating any heavy machinery today,' Ianto promised. 'It's off to bed for you, Jack. A solid fourteen hours sleep ought to put you right.'

'Are you coming to bed with me?'

'No, Jack. Someone has to stay and run Torchwood.'

'That's me!' he replied excitedly, nearly losing his balance and toppling them both.

'Yes, Jack. Now say night-night to Owen.'

'Night-night to Owen.'

'Very good.'

Owen sighed. 'Better you than me, Teaboy.'

Comments

[bk_forever]

Exhausted Jack is a handful, but sort of cute too. Now Ianto just has to get him to bed without wrecking the Hub and getting either of then injured, which could prove difficult.

[m-findlow.livejournal.com]

He'll be much more sensible once he's caught up on sleep. Ianto will get him there safely.