Anythingdrabble Challenge 79 - The blob

[m_findlow]

Title: The blob
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters/Pairings: Torchwood team
Word Count: 500 words
Rating: M (language)
Notes: Written for Challenge 79 - Blob at anythingdrabble
Summary: The team encounter a seemingly unsavoury visitor.

Owen's facial expression as he stepped out of the SUV was one of disgust. Jack shouldn't have parked them quite so close, putting them just feet away from a large brown blob the size of a sedan. 'Is that what I think it is? Phaw! It stinks!'

Tosh came and stood beside him. She didn't even want to say what was on Owen's mind; just thinking it was too horrible.

Ianto pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and held it over his nose in an attempt to block some of the smell. 'If someone says that's a giant alien, er, deposit...' he muffled.

'Typical,' Owen grumbled. 'Just when you think the rift can't dump anything more shitty on us, it dumps, well... shit.'

'We'll have to go back to the hub for shovels,' Ianto stated.

'And where are we supposed to shovel it to?' Owen demanded to know.

'Ew! I've got poo on my shoe!' Tosh cried, interrupting their debate over their course of action.

She stepped back and the pair of them looked down, seeing that the blob had spread.

'Urgh, me too,' Owen replied, distastefully pulling his sneaker out of it.

Ianto frowned as he watched it move slowly towards them. 'Stupid question, but can alien poo do that?'

'Hey!' came the call from Jack as he and Gwen rounded the blob to meet up with them. 'We were taking readings when it started shrinking.'

'Not shrinking, moving,' Tosh corrected, taking another step back, pointing down. It was almost touching the SUV's tyres now as they backed up against it.

'Cool,' Jack remarked. 'I think it likes you.'

Ianto scowled at his lover. 'If you tell us that there's such a thing as sentient alien poo in the universe, I may never sleep again.'

'It's like Diana Ross used to say: sometimes you gotta reach out and touch somebody.' Without preamble, Jack knelt down and shoved his hands into the brown mess.

'Great, now we're taking advice from a motown singer on how to deal with aliens,' Ianto commented, cringing at the sight.

Jack closed his eyes and swirled his hands around. 'Uh huh. Really? Oh, you didn't! Sure.' He pulled them back out and amazingly they came away clean.

'You really just had a conversation with it?' Gwen asked.

'Yep. It's hungry and was after directions for the closest landfill.'

'It's already in Splott,' Owen muttered, attempting a joke.

'Ianto? Think you can help it out with your local knowledge?' Jack asked.

Ianto looked horrified. 'I have to stick my hands in that? I couldn't just show them a map?'

'Don't be so judgemental,' Jack scolded. 'How often do you get a chance to communicate like this? It actually feels kinda nice.'

He squeezed his eyes shut and shoved his hand slowly in. It wasn't quite as horrible as he imagined, but it took long enough, having to repeat the directions twice, giving them the longer but more discreet way there. The things one did for Torchwood.

Comments

[bk_forever]

YUK! But also, LOL!