Torchwood: Fanfic: To each his own

[m_findlow]

Title: To each his own
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Gwen, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,372 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Any, any, fascinatedby junk mail" at fic_promptly
Summary: Torchwood's latest alien refugee is a hard customer to please.

Ianto and Gwen stared helplessly into the cells where their latest victim of the rift was curled up. It didn't take a genius to know that from its body language, it was miserable. It was hard to imagine something that looked like a giant blue koala, with ears as big and round as saucers, could ever look anything but cute and happy, but there was simply no cheering it up no matter what. They'd tried absolutely everything they could think of - they'd given it toys, all kinds of different foods, art supplies, and picture books. They'd tried music and television and sitting in there to try and interact with it, but nothing seemed to make any difference.

'Maybe it just really misses its family,' Gwen said, standing there next to him. 'Or it could just hate being locked up.'

'I tried taking it around the hub for a bit of a walk,' Ianto said, 'but it went about thirty yards and grew listless.'

Even Jack had tried entertaining it, dancing, pulling faces and just generally being a bit of a court jester. All it did was give him a bit of a tired sigh.

'There must be something we can do,' Gwen said. The worry was that if its demeanor didn't improve soon, it might stop eating altogether. No one wanted it to give up. Aliens that lost the will to live usually didn't survive very long. It was the same as keeping some animals in captivity at a zoo. With no way of being able to ascertain where it had come from yet, there was no way of sending it back.

'I was thinking maybe we'd take it home with us tonight,' Ianto said. 'Just to give it a bit of a change of scenery.' Certainly, nothing that they did could possibly make things worse as far as he was concerned. It was very placid, so there was no danger that it would go rogue. Right now, he'd give anything for it to show any kind of activity at all.

Once the day's tasks were sorted, Jack helped Ianto to coax the creature upstairs, where he they settled it into the back seat of the SUV and buckled it in like a small child.

'I'm really hoping that maybe it likes car rides,' Jack said. He even rolled the window down so that the fresh air would whip inside the car, adding a little excitement. Ianto watched it from the rear vision mirror as he drove, but even the motion of the car, the wind in its face and the bustling city streaking by did nothing to enthuse it.

By the time Ianto pulled into their driveway, he had no idea what they were supposed to do with their guest. Perhaps he'd have to break out the boardgames after dinner. Perhaps it might like connect four, or even twister, thought with its short little arms and legs, twister probably wouldn't be overly successful. Then again, it might just find watching the pair of them playing it amusing, as Jack tried every sneaky trick in the book to contort Ianto into knots. Apart from that, there was very little at their house that could be considered amusing or entertaining. They usually made their own entertainment.

Jack scooped the large furry blue bear into his arms and picked him up out of the back seat, setting him down on the ground. He took Jack's hand and toddled up to the door with him, as if this were perfectly normal. Ianto unlocked the door and stepped inside, dropping the post on the counter that he'd collected from their mail box. He wandered around the island counter to start fixing something for dinner, when the alien began clambering up onto one of the tall stools next to the counter. Perhaps cooking was their thing, Ianto wondered. Or maybe even just watching.

As he picked a few vegetables out of the fridge and set them on the counter, he heard a little noise. It was halfway between a chortle and a purr. When he looked up, there was their little visitor, knelt on the stool seat, pawing through their junk mail. It gurgled and emitted little sounds of delight as it turned the pages, perusing all of the sale items from various department stores and supermarkets.

'Jack?' Ianto called out, knowing Jack was probably in their bathroom, washing his hands and changing out of his work clothes.

'Yeah?' he said, padding down the hall and into the kitchen.

Ianto nodded in the direction of their guest and Jack heard the little "oohs" and "ahs" as it sat there, totally engrossed. 'Can you bring me my laptop?' Ianto asked.

'Sure,' Jack said, slipping up the stairs to fetch it from the study, bringing it back. 'What are you thinking?'

With a few quick clicks, Ianto had it up and running. He set it next to the pile of junk mail, which was now getting its third replay, still just as enthralling as it had been on the first read. The little alien turned his head toward the screen.

'If you like those, you're gonna love eBay,' he said, showing him the scroll feature on the laptop.

'Ooooh...' came the fascinated little expression.

It became totally absorbed whilst Jack and Ianto finished preparing dinner, and it was almost impossible to tear it away from the laptop long enough to get it to eat with them. As soon as the plate was clean, it was straight back into browsing.

'Who knew it was a shopaholic,' Jack said, watching as its furry little paws manipulated the mouse like an expert. 'I hope you didn't give it your credit card details.'

After cleaning up and putting away the dishes, Ianto came over and sat next to it. 'Find anything you like?' he asked.

He couldn't tell how the alien knew what he as saying, but he scrolled back a few pages and pointed to a rather silly looking knitted beanie, red and blue with a big pom-pom on the end.

'You'd never get it to fit your head,' Ianto replied. 'Those big ears would make it impossible. And it'd take days to get here. I hope we'll have a way back home for you before then.'

The creature seemed to consider this and made a little disappointed sound.

'But,' Ianto said, thinking aloud, 'Jack's very good with a set of needles, and we do still have some wool left over from his last manic spell of winter knitting. I'm sure he could knock up something.'

Ianto showed Jack the picture and he grinned. 'Piece of cake,' Jack said, setting off towards the hall cupboard to fetch his supplies. Within an hour, he'd managed to knit the basic beanie shape, allowing for it to be a little wider, and with specially designed wide holes in the sides for ears to stick through. Fifteen minutes later he'd fashioned a blue and red matching pom-pom and sewn it on top, completing the look.

'What do you think?' he said, holding it up for inspection. Their visitor quickly grabbed it and tried it on, purring and gurgling with delight.

'Finally someone who appreciates my knitting,' Jack said.

'I appreciate it,' Ianto argued. 'It's just that there's only so many scarves and sets of mittens a person can own.' And Jack's were of a bizarrely multicolored kind, when Ianto much preferred muted tones like black, grey and navy. Yellow and green mittens simply didn't match with anything in his wardrobe.

As they argued over Ianto's relative appreciation for knitted goods, Jack spotted their friend reaching for the knitting needles and admiring them with interest.

'I could teach you, if you like,' Jack said. 'Since Ianto isn't a fan.'

'We can't have all the same interests. Life would be boring, otherwise.'

It didn't take long before Jack had the little blue bear knitting up a storm, completely obsessed, even testing out different stitches and adding coloured patterns.

'Give a man a fish and he eats for a day,' Jack said, beaming with pride.

'But teach him how to shop online and knit hats, and he goes home a very happy little alien,' Ianto finished for him.

Comments

[bk_forever]

That i just so adorable! Happy little alien making woolly hats =D