Anythingdrabble Challenge 104 - Repeat offender

[m_findlow]

Title: Repeat offender
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters/Pairings: Jack, Agent Johnson, Ianto
Word Count: 500 words
Rating: PG
Notes: Written for Challenge 104 - Kick at anythingdrabble
Summary: Jack gets to introduce Johnson to one of Torchwood's serial pests.

'I've got something that looks like it might fall into our remit,' Johnson announced from her desk. 'Guy apparently freaking out calling the police and saying he tried to nick someone's car, only now he's inside and it's allegedly driving him around town.'

Jack chuckled. 'Oh, yeah. That's sound us like us. Did they say who they guy was?'

'Um, it says here a guy by the name of Bernie Harris.'

Jack groaned.

'Did you say Bernie Harris?' Ianto asked, leaning back from his own computer.

'That's what it says here,' Johnson confirmed. 'Why? D'you know him?'

'Oh, we know him alright,' Jack said. He sighed again. 'Seriously, does that kid ever stay out of trouble for more than five minutes?'

She checked the profile on Bernie and scrolled through the lengthy list of offenses. 'Popular guy.'

'Yeah, when he's not palming off counterfeit cigarettes, flogging stuff that falls off the back of trucks,' here Jack paused to make quotation fingers around the word "fall", 'he's finding new and inventive ways of landing himself in trouble with alien artifacts. Why he can't just sell them on eBay like everyone else is anybody's guess. It'd make our lives easier.'

'I suppose he never learns because we keep rectonning him,' Johnson mused.

'You'd like to think so, wouldn't you?' Jack replied.

'We stopped rectonning him in the hopes it might provide to be more instructive,' Ianto explained. 'You know, lessons learned and all that.'

'Only you wouldn't trust Bernie as far as you could kick him,' Jack said, sitting on the edge of Johnson's desk. 'I don't think he's got too many friends around Cardiff.'

'A police file not even a mother could love,' Ianto quipped.

'So, what's his deal? Is he looking to play us for money? Sell us the stuff he finds?'

Jack snorted. 'Hardly. Trouble just seems to find him, and the Torchwood kind of trouble more than any other.'

'Well, if this report is anything to go by, we might need to help him out on this occasion. Before he gets someone killed.'

Jack and Ianto exchanged glances and them the pair of them held their fists out, shaking them three times, before it became clear that they were in some kind of roshambo match. Jack hissed in annoyance as his balled up fist was met by Ianto's open palm.

'You went paper last time!' Jack whined. 'I was banking on you going scissors.'

Ianto grinned. 'Exactly. I reverse, reverse psychology'd you. Looks like you and Bernie get to have a little catch up. Assuming you can catch him first.'

Jack growled, his fist turning moderately threatening. 'Fine, but I reserve the right to call you in as backup if things go south.'

'If by south you mean a café full of flying pastries and cutlery?'

'Something like that,' Jack said, recalling their last chaotic encounter.

'Bye,' Ianto said, giving a little wave.

'Come on, Johnson. I might even let you break a kneecap today.'

'My lucky day.'

Comments

[bk_forever]

LOL! I love that you brought Bernie back, I might even feel a little sorry for him if not for his criminal tendencies!