Torchwood: Fanfic: Say it with roses

[m_findlow]

Title: Say it with roses
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,943 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Any, any, flowers for an apology" at fic_promptly
Summary: Ianto has screwed up and needs to make things right again.

This had to have been a first, Ianto thought, wandering along the high street until he came upon the market stalls that were a regular feature of the Sunday morning mall. In a way, his timing couldn't have been better, perusing the local made goods and finding many an item to his liking - local cheeses, handmade chocolate truffles jams and honeys galore, as well as fresh baked breads, imported olives and cured meats. Moreover, they would all be to Jack's liking. Extravagant or not, he bought one of everything, his collection of goodies weighing heavily inside the canvas shopping bag that now bulged at the sides.

It wasn't strictly a morning off for him. There really was no such thing anymore when you headed up the world's most important intergalactic organisation, but he also knew that if he put himself in line of sight with Jack, things were only going to get awkward.

As a couple they had rows. Ianto didn't know any couples who didn't, and any who claimed they never argued were just trying to save face. Strong feelings were always bound to end up clashing every now and again. Jack was stubborn and strong willed at the best of times, but Ianto was equally fervent in his own opinions, and when Jack refused to back down, things always got a little heated.

Jack had a natural way of winding Ianto up, sometimes even without trying. Whether it was leaving things in places where they didn't belong, a general lack of tidiness, his manic behaviour behind the wheel or his even more appalling table manners, there was rarely a moment when Ianto wasn't chastising him about one thing or another. Owen called it being hen pecked, and for them life of him, couldn't figure out why Jack put up with it. But Jack was besotted and in love, and willing to put up with almost anything if it kept Ianto in his arms at the end of the day. Similarly Ianto, for all his complaints, knew Jack wasn't perfect, and didn't expect him to be. It was just his obsessive compulsive nature manifesting itself.

There were however times when Jack's behaviour tipped him over the edge and they ended up in one of those proper rows. Usually it was to do with Jack's often secretive nature, either withholding information, or simply taking off unannounced to do some kind of lone wolf investigations. Not knowing something drove Ianto mad, and knowing that there was something he didn't know drove him madder still, especially if Jack had anything to do with it. They were together. They were a team. They weren't supposed to have secrets. Ianto didn't care for excuses about preserving timelines and things being in the past staying there. It was all bullshit as far as he was concerned. This was just Jack refusing to let people in because he thought they might not like who he was. He hadn't learnt a thing about them if that was the case. They'd all done things in the past they weren't proud of. What made Jack think they'd love him any less?

Not that any of that was relevant right now. For once they hadn't had a row about any of that. This time it was Ianto who was in the doghouse, and on reflection, perhaps rightly so.

When he'd become immortal like Jack, there'd been an assumption that nothing between them would change. After all, the only thing that was changing was that instead of having just a few years together, they'd now have a few million years together. It was the kind of deliriously happy, slightly terrifying, moment that they could only have dreamed about, now made reality.

But the truth of it was that things had changed. The prospect of having forever changed the way Ianto viewed his life. Jack had the luxury of nearly a century to get used to the concept, but Ianto had been grappling with it for only a few months. Instead of taking in the fullness of life and all it had to offer, he felt a burning need to move. There was so much he wanted to get done and now he had the time to do it, so he threw himself into his work, no longer worrying about whether it was possible to achieve all that he wanted, only that it actually happened. There was a flurry of early mornings and late nights, hell bent on getting things done. It was almost like a schoolboy mentality; do all your homework and then you can go outside and play. Only Ianto treated it as a concept that there'd always be time later for kicking back and relaxing or enjoying life. For now there was work to be done. All of that fun stuff would come later. Anything that slowed him down only frustrated him in his desire to change the world overnight.

Yesterday had been a prime example of how that impatient attitude had gotten him in so much trouble. He'd been out with the team on an assignment. Jack would have normally headed up field operations but for the fact that he was already in another case. It was a relatively simple assignment Ianto had been in charge of. Blowfish came through the rift all the time and they were violent and unpredictable, with a preternatural dislike for humans. This one had decided to come in and try to burgle an international diamond exchange right in the heart of the city. There were twelve hostages inside and one very drug addled blowfish coordinating proceedings.

To get the hostages out safely could take hours of negotiations, none of which were guaranteed to save the lives of everyone inside. The alternative option was to simply go in there and take the blowfish out. Lacking the patience for the former course of action, Ianto had walked straight in, automatic weapon at the ready, determined to end this. He disliked blowfish running amok in his city, and liked ones that threatened the lives of innocent Cardiff citizens even less.

Within minutes, he'd put three bullets squarely through the neck of the blowfish, its weak spot, killing it not mercilessly, but at least efficiently. The downside was that he took two bullets to the heart for his trouble in the split second before he landed the killshot.

Jack was apoplectic when he returned to the hub and found out what had happened, telling Ianto he had no right to put himself in such a dangerous situation. Ianto of course had scoffed at the insinuation, as if Jack hadn't done the self same thing a hundred times before. This isn't a game, Jack scolded him. Ianto argued that he'd resolved the situation without any loss of life. 'No loss of life? Ianto, are you kidding, me? Did your brain not get resurrected with the rest of you?' There was a slight quiver in Jack's voice as he said it, like even talking about Ianto dying was upsetting enough.

Ianto didn't want to have this argument with Jack. What the hell was the point of being immortal if he couldn't use it do something good?

'I didn't let you have immortal life just so you could throw it away whenever you feel like it,' Jack seethed.

'But it's okay for you to play the big hero?' Ianto snapped back. 'Maybe the TARDIS was wrong to do it,' Ianto said. 'She thought we were mean to be together, but if you can't even let me make my own choices then I guess we're not as well suited to one another as we thought.' On that bombshell, he'd walked out, not wanting to hear Jack say that he agreed with him.

Now, after a night alone chewing over what he'd said, he realised his mistake. He'd so often gotten mad at Jack throwing his life away in dangerous situations but he hadn't stopped to think about how it might feel to be in Jack's shoes, having to cope with that same sickening reality, and worse, to not be there when it happened.

He needed to apologise, but he wasn't sure how to do that without some kind of peace offering. He'd never really done the unarmed apology, the awkward opening line. He needed a physical object to anchor himself to the conversation and to provide a bridge for making it happen.

He came to a halt in front of the flower stall, packed from top to bottom with blooms in every colour and shape. Jack always bought flowers when he wanted to apologise for something big. Ianto didn't know why, but flowers seemed to be some kind of universal symbol of apology. This was definitely a flowers apology. It was probably a whole flower stall apology.

He picked bright yellow roses and mixed them in with deep red ones, because Jack thought yellow was a happy colour and red roses were reserved for someone you loved. And he did love Jack. If they couldn't make this right between them, how were they going to survive the next thousand years together?

Ianto walked back to the hub, trying to enjoy the lukewarm sunshine despite the heavy feeling in his chest as he got closer and closer to the hub and to the inevitable apology. He took the tourist office entrance lift down to the main hub, noting that there was no one else here. From a distance however he could still make out Jack's back turned away from the window of his office, working in solitude. On any other day he might have left Jack to it. Getting him to knuckle down on overdue reports and intelligence briefings was a battle in itself.

He didn't knock as he came to stand in the doorway, merely standing there until Jack looked up.

'I'm sorry,' he said, holding up the roses wrapped in brown paper and raffia twine.

Jack walked over and took the flowers from his hand, setting them on the desk before wrapping him up in a hug. 'I'm sorry, too. I just hate the idea of you dying alone and in pain.'

'I...' Ianto was about to say he hadn't been in pain. It had happened so quickly he barely registered being shot at all. 'I just want to keep people safe.'

Jack squeezed him a little tighter. 'I know. That doesn't mean I don't want to keep you safe. I don't care how immortal you are.'

Ianto stood there and let Jack hold him. His feelings of impatience ebbed away and suddenly he wondered why he'd been in such a hurry to doing everything all at once. This little moment of unhurried togetherness is what had been missing for so long he'd forgotten how much he loved it. This was what he wanted. A million future moments like this, not sometime later when he'd done everything else, but right now, interspersed in between all of it, all of the time.

He pulled back and stoked Jack's cheek, glad he hadn't screwed things up permanently.

'I can't believe you bought me flowers,' Jack teased. 'That's so sweet. And what else have you got there?' Jack asked, peering inquisitively into the bag.

Ianto tried not to blush. 'It was market day. I went shopping, trying to spoil you with apology gifts.'

'Well, it's a nice day and none of this is urgent work,' Jack said. 'Why don't we take your bag of goodies and have a picnic up on the Plass?'

'Sunday off work?'

'It'll still be here tomorrow, as will we.'

Ianto beamed at his lover. Never had truer words been spoken.

Comments

[bk_forever]

Now perhaps they both understand each other's perspective a little better. Ianto used to hate Jack throwing his life away, but I guess that impulse comes with being immortal.