Torchwood: Fanfic: Expecting the unexpected

[m_findlow]

Title: Expecting the unexpected
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 715 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for juliet316’s prompt "any, any, false alarm" at fic_promptly
Summary: Ianto's in for a nasty shock

Jack and Ianto had traced the mysterious signal to a local park. Because of the tree canopy and the nearby river interfering with their equipment, it was difficult to pinpoint an exact location. That meant scouring the area until they found it. Whatever "it" was.

Finally Ianto came up trumps, having spied it hiding under a thick carpet rose bush.

'Got it,' he yelled out, but as he bent down and reached out to pick it up, he felt a sharp sting from it hitting his hand, like an electric shock.

'Ow!'

'What have I told you about playing with alien artefacts?' Jack chastised.

'I didn't touch it,' Ianto protested.

Jack kneeled down and took a long look at the small metal ovoid before picking it up himself.

'So it's okay for you to touch it, though,' Ianto jibed.

'I'm immortal. Life insurance policy is paid up for the next fifty millenia.'

Jack studied it closer.

'Oh,' Jack said.

'What do you mean, oh?' Ianto asked.

'Well, I've seen a device similar to this before.'

'And what did it do?'

'Do you feel okay?'

'Uh, sure, I think.' How was he supposed to know? He thought he was okay, but then Jack hadn't really given him much to go on.

'Hmm, maybe it's not what I though it was,' he replied, examining the device more closely and pressing a few buttons.

'Do you think you should be doing that?' Ianto always got nervous when Jack started dabbling. Not that he didn't have more expertise and experience in that department than the rest of them put together, it was just that he also had a habit of acting first and thinking later.

Jack looked up and him and scrutinised him carefully.

'Are you sure you feel okay?'

'Yes! Though your definition of "okay" needs some serious work, because the more you ask, the less "okay" I feel. What exactly does it do?'

'Well, the last time I came across something like this, it caused the recipient to undergo an accelerated pregnancy.'

'What?' Ianto couldn't tell if it was shock or horror, but suddenly he was breathing hard and the room was spinning very fast. This was not happening. This was most definitely not happening.

'Okay,' Jack said, panicking slightly, 'maybe we should lie you down.'

There wasn't really anywhere for him to lie down as it was, so the ground would have to do.

'Just relax, it's going to be fine,' Jack said reassuringly.

'Let's agree to disagree on that, shall we?' Ianto replied, sounding calmer than he felt.

'Let me see if I can figure out how to reverse it.'

Ianto lay there helpless. Pregnant. Jesus Christ.

'Is it human?'

'Of course, well, ninety nine percent sure. Probably.'

'Right. Well at least it's not alien then.' Surely that had to be a plus. It was stupid to get so far ahead of himself but suddenly he couldn't help but need to know the answer.

'If you can't fix it,' the rest of the question trailed off, but he was certain that Jack knew what he was asking.

'Hey, it'll be okay,' he said, placing a placating arm on his shoulder. 'Any baby would be lucky to have you for a dad.'

A dad? Oh heck. How had his life become this complicated so suddenly? He'd have to leave Torchwood. Would he have to leave Jack also? Jack didn't seem the type for playing happy families. He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't ready to let go of Jack. Oh, God.

His distress became very clearly apparent, and despite Jack's concerted efforts to stay focused on reversing the devices effects, he couldn't help but feel responsible. Whatever happened, he vowed he'd look after him. Them. Both of them together.

A few minutes of tense silence was broken as Jack stopped staring intently at the tiny display on the side of the device and flipped it upside down.

'Huh,' he remarked.

'What?'

'You're in luck, Ianto Jones.'

'You fixed it?' he asked hopefully.

'False alarm. Turns out it's just a really sophisticated alarm clock. Zaps you when it's time to wake up. Must have malfunctioned. Gosh, but they look similar.'

Ianto didn't think he'd ever been so relieved to have dodged a bullet in all his life.

Comments

[jo02]

I'm sure there's a really funny gag about biological clocks just waiting to get out there :)

[m-findlow.livejournal.com]

Hadn't thought about that but I like it! :)

I'm sure Ianto wouldn't be nearly so stressed out if he and Jack went about it properly.

[bk_forever]

That was a stroke of luck! At least they don't have tp explain to the team that Ianto accidentally got himself pregnant and is going to have the baby right away. The shock may have shaved a few years off his life though, and he's probably developed a few grey hairs...

[m-findlow.livejournal.com]

He'll be keeping his distance from all alien artefacts for a few weeks after this. He's not quite ready for parenthood just yet, despite Jack's reassurances.