m_findlow

Title: Grand exit
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters/Pairings: Jack, Ianto
Word Count: 500 words
Rating: PG
Notes: Written for Challenge 120 - Exit at anythingdrabble
Summary: Jack loves using his massive weapon.

'That is not appropriate use of the plasma cannon!' Ianto barked, a look of displeasure written all over his face.

Jack hefted the large weapon out of the crook of his elbow and set it pointed downwards on the floor, resting his arm casually on the top. 'Oh, come on, Ianto! One second you're complaining we don't have a way out of here, and the next you're moaning about a little hole in the wall?'

Ianto's eyebrows disappeared up into his hairline at the comment. 'A little hole?' It had to be about seven feet wide, leaving a large circle of charred wall in its place. It was one thing to be forced to use such a weapon to take down a massive alien hell bent on making its new nest in a busy part of Cardiff's business district. It was quite another to continue damaging the same said building after it was dead.

Jack shrugged as he surveyed the carnage. The walls, floor and roof were all covered in a sticky web substance that the creature had been using to build its cocoon. In one corner was the creature, a pile of burned legs and body. In the other corner was the melted remains of its egg sack, easily the size of a small hatchback, and capable of spawning at least ten thousand more of its offspring. The plasma cannon was the only thing in their arsenal big enough and hot enough to destroy it. Plus, any excuse to pull out the really big guns, Jack thought, grinning to himself.

'This place hasn't had a refresh since the seventies. Haven't they heard of open plan office space? All we did was give them a little head start on some much needed renovations. Let's face it, that thing was starting to nest in here. It had already gummed up three walls before we even got here. We'd have been food for its little nest stockpile after it cut off the exit on us.'

Ianto lifted a leg, tugging and trying to extract it from the sticky floor. It came away eventually, but not without leaving his shoe behind, still stuck in the web. 'A cheering thought,' he said, fighting to retrieve his shoe, 'though perhaps blowing a hole through where there were already doors might have been an idea?' At least then they'd only have to replace the doors.

'If you wanted to be the first to get cocooned in here and wrapped up like a little alien TV dinner, then sure. Me, personally, I prefer you unwrapped.'

Ianto rolled his eyes. 'That much I know.'

'Come on, let's get out of here and call in the others to start cleaning up.' Jack lifted the plasma cannon onto his shoulder, waltzing out through the enormous hole, unhindered by the sticky floor underfoot.

'I knew he liked to make a grand entrance,' Ianto muttered to himself, his shoes getting stuck at every step, 'but now he's making grand exits as well,'