Torchwood: Fanfic: Loss of memory

[m_findlow]

Title: Loss of memory
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 694 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Torchwood, any, waking up, knowing you've been retconned" at fic_promptly
Summary: Jack is unsettled by the realisation that he's been retconned.

Jack woke with a start, finding his face pressed against the cold concrete. Without even knowing where he was or why, he knew he'd been retconned. Anyone else would feel confused or hungover or just plain sleepy, but Jack knew what it was to have had his memories tampered with or suppressed. It was all part of his Time Agency training. If someone meddled with your recollections, you aborted the mission immediately and returned to base. To do anything else was too risky and could jeopardise the entire mission. It wasn't ideal, but it was better than doing the wrong thing because you could no longer trust your instincts.

Jack felt the little niggling sensation in the back of his mind, clouded by the retcon's sedative properties. It was meant to make the transition to forgetfulness easier on its subjects, but for Jack who knew exactly what had happened, it only frustrated him, trying to gather his senses when his body kept telling him to relax.

He pushed himself away from the wall where he'd been slumped, taking in the familiar surroundings. He was in the cells, but why? Why had he come down here, knowing he'd pass out from the drugs? His thoughts immediately turned to his team. What if? He flipped open his vortex manipulator, checking for life signs in the hub. He left out a relieved breath. Four life signs, all hovering around the main hub area. That was good. No one had been harmed. He always worried that one day he was going to wake up and find them all dead. It would be like New Year's Eve all over again. If that ever happened, perhaps he'd take so much retcon that he'd manage to wipe the last hundred years and every reference to Torchwood he had. He didn't think he could lose another team.

That lead him to his next question. What about his team? If he'd retconned himself, as he knew he surely must have - no one on his team would have dare attempted to retcon him themselves - then had he also retconned them as well? And why?

His gaze turned towards the cell door he'd been propped against. Could that be the answer? Had the reason he'd needed to forget been down here, locked away in the cells? Thoughts turned to the most obvious reasons. He'd let a prisoner go. That would account for the empty cell. As for the retcon part, he could only imagine that he must have known them, or would know them in the future. Or perhaps he'd crossed his own timeline. That made sense. He couldn't know about future events, insofar as he could avoid it. A future version of himself could cause all sorts of havoc, especially if it changed the decisions he made now. Yes, that had to be it. He toyed with his wrist strap again, searching his Captain's log for any notes he might have left himself. Nothing, as expected. It wouldn't do to remind himself of something he'd been made to forget, though it would have been nice if he'd simply left himself a message telling him everything was okay. He'd have to remember that for next time.

Pushing himself to his feet, he knew he'd have to go back up and face the team. He felt bad. Just how much of their memories had he wiped? How much of his own? Had he inadvertently erased important things in the process? The team would forgive him surely. He knew he wouldn't have done this if there'd been any other choice, but things had to be pretty dire before he'd have made that call. They'd trust him to do what was right, but in the post retcon haze he couldn't be sure if he had done the right thing, and would probably never know. For now, all he could do was make sure his team were okay, and to find out just how much time they'd lost, to ensure that no one went digging through files to try and unlock the mystery. Whatever it was, it needed to stay buried. No memory was worth risking everything for.

Comments

[bk_forever]

Wise decision, Jack. Some things are just best left unknown.