Torchwood: Fanfic: Wet and wild
Apr. 11th, 2020 07:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Title: Wet and wild
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Gwen, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 834 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for samuraiter's prompt "Any, any, epic squirt gun battle" at fic_promptly
Summary: Jack refuses to let the team skip firearms training.
'Come on, people. Firearms training downstairs,' Jack announced.
'Really?' Gwen asked. 'It's like a sauna in here,' she added, fanning herself with the manila folder in her hand. 'I can't even think straight, let alone shoot straight.'
Jack folded his arms and considered her with a curious look. 'You think because we're in the middle of a heatwave that the city might not still need saving?'
'We can always hope,' Ianto added. 'With luck the aliens have melted into the ground, much like us,' he replied, resting his head in his arms on the desk. 'Even the archives are sweltering and it's always cold down there.'
Jack sighed, hands on his hips. His two Welsh counterparts were really struggling with the freakish summer weather which they'd already confirmed had nothing to do with the rift. He'd barely noticed it himself, having grown up in a climate that was permanently hot and dry. Gwen and Ianto however had traded their traditional clothes for shorts and t-shirts, though they seemed to be providing little relief.
'We can't shirk our responsibilities,' Jack said. 'Things have been crazy lately and we've missed a couple of training sessions.'
'We'll do it tomorrow, we promise,' Gwen said.
'Nope. Today, people. Trust me. It won't be as bad as you think.'
Gwen exchanged looks with Ianto. 'Well, it can't get any worse, can it?' Ianto said.
'Meet me down there in ten,' Jack said, grinning.
They watched him leave, Gwen resting an elbow on her desk. 'He's up to something,' she mused.
'Yes, I rather got that impression,' Ianto agreed.
They both reluctantly walked down to the firing range, wondering what they might be confronted with. Knowing Jack, it could very well be some sort of staged attack.
'You go first,' Gwen whispered to Ianto.
'Why me?'
'Jack won't be expecting that.'
Ianto rolled his eyes. 'Taking one for the team, again,' he muttered, stepping tentatively through the door. Before he knew what happened, something hit him in the side of the head. He held his hand up to the side of the head and panicked when it came back wet.
'Ah ha!' came the victorious cry. 'Gotcha!'
Ianto spun and saw Jack. 'You shot me? I can't believe you just shot me!'
Jack chuckled. 'Relax, Ianto. It's just a little water. See?' he said, holding up the gun that looked distinctly more like a water pistol.
'Jack, what's going-' Gwen didn't get any further, before Jack had let loose another round, hitting her square in the chest. 'Oh you didn't!' she cried, looking down at the large wet patch and then back up Jack.
'You both complained you were hot.'
'Oh,' Gwen seethed, spotting the table lined with water guns and grabbing one, passing a second to Ianto. 'We're just getting warmed up, Jack Harkness.'
Jack gripped his gun and fled, the pair of them quickly after him. Most of their initial shots went well wide in the race to catch up with him, hitting the cardboard cutouts of weevils and police officers alike, splattering water in every which direction.
'No hitting the civilians!' Jack yelled back, egging them on.
Gwen continued her pursuit of Jack, who was ducking and weaving between targets, whilst Ianto returned to the table, selecting a much larger gun, one that would soak Jack completely. He tried to make his way back to Gwen's position, letting her lay down cover fire, but it was no use. Jack had a pre-planned attack strategy and was happy to take a few hits from Gwen provided it freed him to take shots at Ianto, whose t-shirt was getting wetter by the minute.
Jack's own cockiness ended up being his undoing as he tried to close the gap between them, slipping over in a puddle of water of his own creation. The pair of them were on him in an instant, soaking him with their guns, pulling the plugs out and tipping the rest of the water over him.
'I give up!' Jack yelled, laughing as he said it, before sitting up and giving them one last surprise attack with his own gun, leaving them dripping and out of breath. He tripped up Gwen and she went colliding on top of him, accidentally dragging Ianto with her in her attempt to stop her descent, until they were all lying there in a puddle.
'Who won?' Gwen asked, rolling off Jack so he could breathe.
'I don't think anyone was keeping track,' Jack confessed, brushing his wet hair back out of his eyes. 'Let's call it a tie.'
'We've made an absolute mess, Ianto said, casting a look around the room, which was dripping just as much water as they were.
'It's just water, Ianto,' Jack replied. 'In this heat it'll probably dry up all on its own.'
Ianto doubted that but he wasn't about to volunteer to mop up. Now that he'd gotten cool for the first time in days, he wasn't about to get himself all worked up again.
no subject
Date: 2020-04-13 02:02 pm (UTC)