m_findlow

Title: April Fools
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters/Pairings: Jack, Ianto
Word Count: 500 words
Rating: PG
Notes: Written for Challenge 136 - Fake at anythingdrabble
Summary: Jack has a sometimes cruel sense of humour.

The moment Jack stepped through the cogwheel door, all flashing lights and klaxons, he could see Ianto immediately stopping whatever he was working on so that he could stand up and greet Jack on his return.

'You've been out ages,' Ianto said. 'Was there a problem with the rift alert?'

Jack clutched his left hand to his chest, wincing and grimacing. 'You could say that.' He turned it just enough so that Ianto could see the shredded skin and ragged bloody mess that was now his hand.

'Oh my God!' Ianto cried. 'What happened? I thought you said it was minor!'

'It was, but it was in a butcher's shop and I might have gotten a little too close to one of the machines and...' The rest didn't require explanation.

'Jesus! Uh,' okay,' Ianto said, beginning to sound panicky. 'Just, uh, keep it elevated. I'm calling Owen right now. Just... Oh my God.'

Jack couldn't help but chuckle at Ianto's fretting. It was hard to be in pain and laugh at the same time.

'Shit,' Ianto swore, even as he was holding the phone to his ear. 'Painkillers. There's painkillers down in the medical bay. We should-' He paused and frowned. 'What? Why are you laughing? This is serious!'

'Oh, Ianto.' Jack had to hold his injured hand up in front of his mouth just to stop himself from erupting into another fit of giggles. 'You are too much!'

'I feel like I'm missing something.'

'It's a joke, Ianto. April Fool's Day? Or have you forgotten the date?' He held his hand out to that Ianto could get a closer look at it.

It wasn't until Ianto was within inches of it he could make out that it looked a little bit rubbery and when he took it gently in his hands, still a little worried that it was real, he could feel just how cold and clammy it was. 'But...'

Jack took his hand back and slipped a finger under the cuff of his coat sleeve, tucking it into the edge of the rubber glove and tugging it slowly off. It was an exceedingly tight fit, partly because his hand was large but mostly so that it fit as snugly as possible, making the mauled hand look as realistic possible. It finally came off with a snap and Jack waggled the floppy prosthetic covering. 'See? Just as flawlessly perfect as always,' he said, showing off his left hand. 'Costume shop was next door. I couldn't resist.'

The fist that hit his upper arm was swift and sudden. 'Ow!' Jack complained, hugging the sore spot with his free hand. 'That really hurt!'

'So it bloody well should,' Ianto replied. 'I genuinely thought you'd hurt yourself badly. You're so good at pretending stuff doesn't hurt that I-' He punched Jack again.

'Hey! What was that you were saying about being worried about my being hurt?' His arm was really smarting now.

'A sore arm will be the least of your problems.'