Challenge 617 - Lost

[m_findlow]

Title: Lost
Author: m_findlow
Characters: Ianto
Rating: PG
Challenge: 617 - Sense at tw100
Notes: Ianto realises he's lost himself. A double drabble.

Ianto didn't need a month's suspension to know he'd done the wrong thing. He'd betrayed everyone in keeping Lisa a secret from them.

Perhaps he should have trusted them. He'd been here long enough to know they meant well. Perhaps if he had, things could have been different. Lisa might still be dead but she wouldn't have been put through all that torture. And he would have spared two other innocent lives.

He wished he'd trusted Jack to help instead of using him. It just wasn't like Ianto to be so deceitful. Somewhere along the way, between being terrified by daleks and cybermen, he'd lost his sense of self. Without Lisa, he was only half a person, and not a half he recognised. He was someone else, someone who only wanted things back the way they'd been before, and who didn't care how many bridges he burned to get there. Jack was right to be furious with him. He didn't deserve forgiveness for what he'd done.

He fingered the nearly dead plant on the kitchen windowsill, tipping a cup of water on it. A month alone was what he needed to find himself again. Not everything was completely beyond saving.

Comments

[bk_forever]

*hugs Ianto* He does need this month off to grieve his loss and begin to rebuild his life.