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Title: Food critics
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 500 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 581 - Palette/Palate at slashthedrabble
Summary: The best restaurant this side of the galaxy is about to get its most critical review.
Jack leaned back in his chair and rested a hand on his belly. He wasn't sure it was possible to feel any fuller than he did now. He'd well and truly indulged, if not gorged, on everything the menu had to offer.
And why not? They'd just received payment for their last assignment with the Shadow Proclamation, which included a hefty bonus to cover the fact that as part of the political negotiations which they'd been undertaking, they'd been forced to live apart on separate sides of the continent as the two parties continued to threaten the outbreak of war. One highly supervised conjugal visit per week in a hotel room that was full of hidden cameras and voice recorders was not what Jack would describe as getting one in the mood. Still, he supposed it was better than no contact at all, except the kind done over the negotiation table and through three inches of glass. Treating themselves to a very expensive and luxurious hotel with the finest restaurant this side of the Demesne Cluster was really just the start of rewarding themselves for a job well done.
'I have never been so full in my life,' Jack said.
Ianto smiled over his water glass. 'That's a big statement coming from you. And yet you still offered to finish the other half of my triple chocolate truffle layer cake.'
'Well, you weren't going to eat it and I didn't want to waste it. It was a small sacrifice to make,' he added, patting his tummy.
There was a polite clearing of a throat and Jack turned to find their waiter at his shoulder. 'How was dessert, sir?'
'Amazing,' Jack replied. 'I could have three of those every day and never get sick of them.'
'Very good, sir. Can I interest you in finishing off with a warm drink?'
Jack looked across the table. 'Think you could squeeze one in?'
'Think I'll need something to wash it all down,' Ianto agreed.
'We have a full range of Earth-based beverages. Tea, coffee...'
Jack didn't fail to miss the wry little smirk on Ianto's face at the mention of coffee. 'Come now,' Jack said, 'we all know that in this part of that galaxy you can't get coffee beans. Even the best restaurants can't get them.'
The waiter looked slightly embarrassed at being caught in a lie. 'Well, we don't have coffee per se, but we do have the finest synthetic. As good as the real thing.'
Jack smirked across the table. 'Well, not that I like to brag, but my husband here has a very discerning palate. Back on Earth you'd describe him as a connoisseur of coffee.' Jack gave Ianto a little wink. 'Some might even call him a king of coffee. So, when you say it's as good as the real thing, that's a big claim. We didn't come all this way for second rate synthetic coffee.'
'So, that's a not to the coffee?'
'No, that's us reserving judgment.'