Slashthedrabble Challenge 586 - A dressing down

[m_findlow]

Title: A dressing down
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 500 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 586 - Original at slashthedrabble
Summary: Not everyone approves of Jack and Ianto's costumes.

Halloween had to be one of the best holidays of the year, Jack decided. Apart from Christmas and Easter, of course.

'I'm so glad that we didn't have to miss Halloween altogether this year,' he said, slipping his hand into Ianto's as they wandered down the streets near their house, watching everyone getting about in their fancy dress. They'd only just managed to squeeze out through the door at eight o'clock after the rift had decided it had its own ideas about celebrating the holiday. There wasn't time to deck themselves out in the costumes and make-up they'd had planned, so they'd just come as they were. It didn't seem to matter. People thought they were dressed up anyway. If nothing else, they were Torchwood agents for the evening.

A boy of about twelve pulled up beside them on his bike. He was dressed in ragged clothes with face paint that clearly marked him as a zombie for the night. 'Who are you?' he asked.

'United States Air Force. Captain Jack Harkness at your service.' He stood to attention and saluted before smiling.

The boy frowned at him. 'You don't look like a pilot.'

'This is how pilots looked back in World War Two. Those who made the rank of officer, that is.'

Zombie boy shrugged. 'If you say so. I say you're just a guy in a coat.'

'Hey, this is an original standard issue officer's greatcoat!' Jack argued. 'They don't make these anymore. It's the genuine article. Practically a collector's item.'

The boy looked disparagingly across at Ianto. 'And who are you supposed to be? The school principal?'

Ianto smirked, determined not to be drawn in. 'Napoleon Solo.'

'Who?'

'The man from U.N.C.L.E.'

'Who?'

Ianto bit his lip. 'He's like James Bond.'

'So, why didn't you just say you were James Bond?'

'Because I'm not! James Bond works for the British MI5 and Napoleon Solo works for the CIA in America.'

The boy gave a tired sigh. 'Whatever. You guys suck at this whole Halloween thing. You're like the most boring dressed up adults ever.'

'We do not suck!' Jack cried. 'We're so cool we don't even have to wear costumes! Not like you kid zombie. I mean, the walking dead? That's not very original. I bet the next door you knock on they'll say, “hey, we already gave some candy to a kid dressed like a zombie. We like kids who have imagination. Come back next year when you've got something worth handing out candy for”.'

The boy scowled at Jack and then his lower lip began to quiver. 'You guys are so mean!' He hopped back on his bike and sped away down the road.

'That was a bit mean,' Ianto agreed.

'Hey, he was dissing us and our costumes!'

'Except they're not costumes,' Ianto reminded him. 'They're just what we wear every day.'

Jack huffed. 'So?'

Ianto looped his arm through Jack's. 'So, does it really matter? I already know you're one of a kind.'