Torchwood: Fanfic: Holiday heartache

[m_findlow]

Title: Holiday heartache
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 862 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for samuraiter's prompt "Any, any, 'I love you.' 'I don't care. You still can't have it.' " at fic_promptly
Summary: Vacationing is trickier than Ianto expected.

Ianto gave a loud sigh of frustration as he tried to get comfy in the deck chair. It wasn't that he was uncomfortable per se, but his own fidgeting was causing the discomfort. Perhaps if he could just find the sweet spot, he'd be able to stop moving around.

He tried resting his arms at his side, then decided that wasn't right, repositioning them on his stomach. That was better but it still didn't feel right. Perhaps he needed more sunscreen, before his skin became as red as the lobster they'd eaten for dinner last night. Was it too hot out here? Should be move his chair under the umbrella? Where was that nice breeze gone from earlier? Maybe he should just get up and go for a walk, or a swim. He'd seen some books in a communal library inside. Maybe one of those would help.

He cast a glance across at Jack, who if not asleep, was doing a very good impression of a sloth, lounged back in his own chair, bare chested and sunglasses, drinking in the sunshine. He looked about as relaxed as a person could get whist still remembering to occasionally breathe.

This whole holidaying thing was much harder than he remembered. He'd been the one nagging Jack for months and months that they never took any time off work and that they deserved it considering the long hours they put in every day. Surely the team would be able to manage without them for just a little while. That was the argument he put forth, and surprisingly Jack had agreed. It all seemed a little too easy at the time but he hadn't complained. Now he was beginning to wonder what the hell he'd been thinking.

'You have to promise me, Ianto,' Jack had cautioned him. 'This is our holiday, which means I need you to actually switch off.'

Ianto laughed at that. 'Of course.' Anything else was just ridiculous, after all. Who went on a holiday to spend all their time working?

Now that he was here though, surrounded by long perfect beaches, swaying palm trees and crystal blue oceans, all he could think about was what everyone was doing back in Cardiff. Was that rift behaving itself? Was the wintery weather causing problems with weevils looking for warmer places to nest? What if something came through the rift that the team couldn't handle or was deadly dangerous? Were reports getting done and submitted on time? What if someone from UNIT needed to coordinate an urgent project, or one of the other Torchwood offices faced some calamity? Just thinking about all the possibilities turned his stomach in knots and left him lying awake at night wondering. Jack would have told them not to call, but that didn't mean they weren't needed. People did what Jack told them to do, because it was Jack telling them. The whole place could come crashing down around their ears before they'd defy Jack's instructions. Oh God, what if it was right now?

He just needed to check his phone and log in to their mainframe, maybe scroll through his emails and make sure nothing was amiss. Only Jack had confiscated his phone at the start of their sojourn, and hadn't given it back since. He wasn't even sure where Jack was keeping it, which was all the more alarming.

'Ianto, would you please just relax a bit?' came the request from the lounge lizard beside him.

'I'd be able to relax more if I knew things were okay back home.'

'They're fine. Stop worrying.'

'But what about Rhi and the kids? And there's that Altarsan Modulator we loaned to UNIT. They should have returned it by now. And doesn't it bother you that no one from the hub has checked in with us?'

'No, it doesn't,' Jack replied. 'Because they're not supposed to.'

'What if the world is ending?'

'I think we'd know if the world is ending. I don't think tropical paradises get an exemption.'

'If I could just touch base with the hub and check in a few things.'

'No.'

'It'll only take an hour or so.'

'No.'

'A quick phone call then. Half an hour.'

'No.'

'Email?'

'No.'

'Text message?'

'No.'

'Tweet?'

Jack sighed. 'Ianto, I'm not giving you your phone.'

Ianto huffed out a breath and paused for a moment, trying a different tact. 'I love you.'

A little grin crept across Jack's face as he continued to lift his face to the sun. 'I don't care. You still can't have it.'

Bollocks. He sat up. 'Fine then. I'm going for a walk along the beach.'

'Take a dip in the water to cool down,' Jack suggested. 'You'll feel a lot better if you just let go. Otherwise what the hell did we go on vacation for? This was your idea.'

Ianto groaned. 'It might be a long walk, then,' he qualified.

'Whatever you need,' Jack replied. 'Just make sure you're back for cocktails and dinner.'

He stood up, patting down his pockets and making sure he had his wallet. Somewhere on this godforsaken island there had to be a payphone or an internet café.