Torchwood: A bad combination

[m_findlow]

Title: A bad combination
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Owen, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 565 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Torchwood, Ianto, has it ever occurred to you that coleslaw and pizza don't really go together?" at fic_promptly
Summary: Ianto ponders an important concept.

Ianto could barely see over the top of the pile of pizza boxes in his arms, on top of which sat a plastic bag with the balance of the team's lunch. It was lucky he knew the hub as well as he did, almost able to navigate around it with his eyes shut, which he might have done, were it not for the propensity of the team to leave random objects in his path for him to trip over. He oftentimes wonders if they did it just so he'd pick them up and put them back to where they belonged, but then again, no one hated him that much. Not when he was their only source of decent coffee.

'Pizza's here!' he called out halfway up the spiral staircase, knowing it was the most effective point in the hub for projecting his voice. Wherever the team were, they'd coming running, assuming they weren't already hanging out in the boardroom, waiting for him like a pack of hungry wolves.

He nudged his way backwards through the door and hear Owen mutter 'about bloody time'. He was lounging back in his chair, one foot on the table and nursing a beer that looked crisp, cold and very refreshing. 'Saved one for you,' Owen added, sliding a second green bottle across the table.

'I'm not sure what sight makes me happier,' Jack said, bursting into the room behind him. 'A handsome Welshman, or a selection of Jubilee's finest pizzas.'

'Hopefully the former,' Ianto quipped, uncapping his beer bottle and setting out a pile of paper plates and napkins.

'I hope you remembered the coleslaw,' Jack said, making a show of tugging open the boxes of pizzas, looking for the one with the lot, before sandwiching it with the slice of meat feast already in his other hand, and biting down on the two together.

Ianto extracted a stick of garlic bread from the bag, still warm in its foil, before removing the container at the bottom. The scent of all that buttery garlic made his mouth water. The coleslaw far less so. There were far more inspiring ways to get his daily serving of vegetables that Jack was always insisting on.

'Has it ever occurred to you that coleslaw and pizza don't really go together?' Ianto asked. 'I mean, put pizza on a plate with a nice bit of garden salad and some balsamic dressing, but coleslaw? When I think of coleslaw I think of barbecues in summer with a nice bit of charcoal steak, or even a takeaway box of roast chicken and chips.' He stared at the two men already tucking into their pizza, not bothering to wait for the girls to arrive. 'Is that crazy? Am I crazy?' Ianto asked.

'Loaded question,' Owen muffled around a mouthful of Margherita.

Ianto had barely taken the lid off the container of coleslaw before Jack was digging a sppon into it, adding some to his pizza slice sandwich, mayonnaise dressing dripping out between the two crusts as he bit down.

'That's disgusting,' Owen grumbled, pulling a face at the spectacle.

Jack shot Owen a look of confusion, tomato sauce on his face as his Adam's apple bulged forcefully when he swallowed the huge mouthful of pizza and salad. 'What?'

Owen took a pull on his beer and grimaced. 'You know, Teaboy, you may just have a point after all.'