Fffc Bingo Card - Wishing for the wrong thing

[m_findlow]

Title: Wishing for the wrong thing
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes: none 
Author notes: Written for Bingo Card Prompt 44 - Wishes at fffc
Summary: Jack has the perfect plan to make sure Ianto gets everything he could possibly want. 

When Jack picked up the latest junk dumped through the rift, an idea formed in his mind that grew more and more desirable the more he thought about it. By the time he reached the hub, he was completely sold on the idea and almost couldn't wait to get his grand plan underway. 

The junk of course was a smattering of ugly brass antiques, the kind that usually lived in the houses of long forgotten aunts that ended up as part of the remaining chattels of a deceased estate. The kind that no one wanted and normally ended up in some poor charity shop where they continued to collect dust for almost as many years as the house in which they'd previously resided. 

On this occasion however, there was one peculiar artifact that had caught both Jack's attention and his imagination. It looked like an oil lamp - the kind one could imagine being from 1,001 Arabian Nights that contained the mythical genie who would grant the holder three wishes. Just the sort of thing Jack could use. 

He kept it apart from the rest of the stuff he dumped in a cardboard box to be forever archived, instead slipping it into one of his deep coat pockets. Whilst he had Ianto busy tagging and logging the items into their system, he snuck upstairs and rooted around in the cupboards under the kitchen sink, knowing Ianto kept every kind of polish stored in there, one especially for stainless steel, for silver, and of course, one for brass. He pocketed that as well, and an old rag, and took all three back to his office. 

It was normally beneath him to bother with cleaning of this kind, but he worked the polish into the metal with more elbow grease than anything else, until it gleamed. Pleased with the effort, he tucked it away again and took it downstairs with him. 

‘Ianto!’ Jack called out as he entered the atrium that counted as Ianto's office and domain as overlord of the archives. ‘Have you finished with that junk yet?’ 

Soft clicking footsteps grew louder as he appeared out of the darkness, like an apparition. ‘So, that's a no to getting it appraised by Sotheby's?’ 

Jack chuckled. ‘I don't think we need an expert opinion. There's just one item you missed.’ 

Ianto raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Missed?’ He didn't miss anything. Ever. To even suggest so was tantamount to an insult. 

Jack extracted the lamp and held it out to him. ‘One lamp of such value and worth that it needed to be personally delivered.’ 

Ianto took the lamp and turned it over in his hands. ‘Seriously?’ 

‘No. But if you give it a rub, I'll grant you three wishes. I am the genie of the lamp and my duty is to serve.’ Jack gave a low, theatrical bow. 

‘Three wishes, huh?’ 

‘Anything your heart desires,’ Jack replied. ‘Anything at all. Your wish is my command.’ 

Jack enjoyed the little playful smirk that twitched at the edges of Ianto's mouth. He could tell Ianto was already picturing the kinds of things he might ask Jack to perform, and he'd be happy to entertain any and all of them. 

‘Can I take some time to think about it? I want to make sure that I get the most out of them.’ 

Jack gave a wink and a smile. ‘I'll be waiting.’ 

Jack expected that by the time they were rolling into their driveway, Ianto would already have his first wish made up in his mind. Instead he yawned and got ready for bed, brushing his teeth and pulling the duvet tight around his neck before switching off the table lamp and wishing Jack goodnight. 

‘You haven't got any wishes yet?’ Jack asked. 

‘Still working on it,’ Ianto replied. 

‘Okay.’ Jack assumed whatever it was, it must be going to be epic. He fell asleep immediately, making sure he got lots of rest in anticipation. 

Over cereal and toast the next morning, Ianto still hadn't revealed any of his big ideas to Jack. Three wishes and Jack still had no idea what Ianto had up his sleeve, or if he was simply overwhelmed by indecision. 

Jack tried his best to maintain focus throughout the morning but his curiosity was killing him as Ianto continued to remain coy and silent. 

By mid afternoon, Jack had enough of waiting, spying his lover making a fresh round of coffee and pouncing in from behind. ‘C'mon, Ianto. Wish number one? You must have thought of something by now.’ 

The smirk returned to Ianto's lips. ‘I just knew it must be killing you not knowing.’ 

Jack squeezed him close. ‘More than you know.’ 

‘Well, you'll be pleased to know that I'm now in a position to tell you what they are.’

‘All three?’ It was more than he'd hoped for. ‘Do we need to go back to my office to discuss them in private?’ 

Ianto began to settle the coffee mugs on the tray in front of him. ‘Not at all. Everyone's had time to think about it and told me exactly what they want.’ 

Jack froze. ‘Excuse me? I said you get three wishes, not the whole team.’ 

‘Oh, I know. You were quite clear. You just didn't count on me wishing that everyone else gets a wish. For starters, Owen says his apartment is well overdue for being repainted and he just hasn't been able to find the time or inclination for all that fussy taping and sheeting. We've already picked colors and ordered them. Gwen would like it if you could help her sort out her overstuffed wardrobe at home, proving a second opinion on what she should donate and whether her arse looks too big in anything. And Tosh would like a team movie night with a spot on the sofa next to her reserved for Owen.’ 

‘I've been hoodwinked!’ Jack complained. ‘Where's my wish granted?’ 

‘You'll just have to find your own magic lamp.’