Fffc Bingo Card - A dressing down

[m_findlow]

Title: A dressing down 
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack, Owen, Gwen
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG (some language)
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes: none 
Author notes: Written for Bingo Card Prompt 61 - Dress at fffc
Summary: Ianto is given one of his toughest assignments yet. 

Ianto had to do a double take as Owen ushered Gwen past him. He’d been about to ask why the hell Gwen was here at the hub when she had a wedding to be preparing for. Then he saw the swollen belly on her that was either some freak cancerous growth or she was pregnant.

‘Start without me,’ Jack said, calling down to Owen, before heading back to his office. Ianto trailed silently behind, passing Tosh who gave him a look that said it was his job to get the goss. Of course it was, he thought, rolling his eyes even as Jack was already pulling off his coat and hanging it on the stand by the door as if this was just an ordinary day.

Ianto didn’t knock. They were well past the point of being polite about invading one another’s space. Jack had never been polite about it, come to think of it, and Ianto was only just now catching up to him.

‘Um, so is Gwen…’ He didn’t really think he needed to verbalise the rest. He was hoping Jack would simply laugh at him and belay his fears, insisting it was just gas and that Owen was already halfway to fixing it.

‘Pregnant?’ Jack’s eyebrows raised themselves solicitously. ‘Oh, yeah. Owen’s trying to find out what with as we speak.’ He gave Ianto a look that was part serious and part mocking. ‘You know, before she pops.’

Pops? How could Jack even say such a thing? Ianto knew exactly how, of course. That was just Jack. Nothing fazed him, not even one of his team arriving at the hub looking nine months up the duff. ‘So, I’m guessing the wedding is off, then?’

Jack’s face broke into a grin that was tempered with annoyance. ‘That’s where you’re wrong. Gwen Cooper is hell bent on having this wedding even if she has to pause halfway down the aisle to give birth.’

‘Well, that would be quite a memorable event,’ Ianto replied, trying to keep things light since Jack didn’t seem to be overly concerned. ‘And she’s taking it well, I gather?’

‘That fucking bastard!’ He heard her swear all the way from Owen’s medical bay.

Jack winced, pointing and clicking his tongue at Ianto. ‘Yep, that’d be us off the guest list.’

‘Us?’ It was Ianto’s turn to raise his own eyebrow. ‘What do you mean “us”?’

The way Jack’s face dropped and then attempted to twist into nonchalance told Ianto everything he needed to know that the next words out of Jack’s mouth would be his best attempt to dissemble. ‘Well, I mean we were going... You and I, that is. And now I think, um, well…’

Ianto sighed a vexed breath. ‘So now I get officially lumped with you when you bollocks things up, is it?’ Just because he and Jack were now a thing, or sort of a thing, or maybe just working their way up to being a thing - he really wasn’t that sure what they were, exactly - that meant that he got punished for all of Jack’s bungles?

‘I was really looking forward to it,’ he said, making sure Jack heard the disappointment in his voice. How often was it that any of them got to have something nice happen to them? And Rhys was a good bloke. He put up with a lot of shit and he still loved Gwen to bits. That had to make him at least as mad as the rest of them, and Ianto respected that. A wedding would have really brightened their lives after all the terrible stuff that had happened lately.

Jack at least had the wherewithal to look apologetic. ‘I’m sure Gwen would let you still go along. I mean, without me, obviously, and-’

Ianto held up a hand. ‘Stop.’ Jack’s guilt trip had done the job. How could he go and leave Jack here all by himself? They might not be able to enjoy it if they were on baby watch during the ceremony, but it just wouldn’t be the same without Jack there. And Jack loved weddings. He hadn’t stopped talking about it for days. Being left behind would kill him.

He sighed. ‘You really don’t know how this happened?’

‘We think it was the shape shifter last night. Only nobody knows what it really was since it got away before we could capture it.’

This was just so bloody typically Torchwood that he might have laughed if he wasn’t concerned Gwen might shoot him. ‘Great. Well, since we’re both in the doghouse, thanks for that, by the way, I suppose we’d better start doing something to redeem ourselves.’

Jack’s confused frown was enough to confirm that he had no idea where to begin. Ianto rolled his eyes at Jack’s obtuseness. ‘If she’s going ahead with the wedding, she’s not going to be able to squeeze into that dress,’ he said, feeling like he was stating the bloody obvious.

‘I don’t follow you.’

‘A dress, Jack! She’s going to need a new dress!’ Christ, did he need to get out the box of crayons to explain it? He huffed an exhausted breath. ‘You know what? Just leave it to me. It can be from both of us to make up for this colossal clusterfuck but it’s going on your credit card.’

Jack stood up from his desk and went round to hug Ianto. ‘You are brilliant. That’s perfect. And I know that with your impeccable taste it will be gorgeous.’

Ianto pulled back. ‘You’re not coming with me?’ He didn’t really fancy going on his own.

‘Owen’s going to need me here as we monitor things.’

‘That bloody son of a bitch!’ Gwen’s voice rang out again.

‘Yep, I think I’d better go,’ Ianto said, quickly slipping out of Jack’s arms. He didn’t want to still be standing here when Gwen managed to waddle her way back up those steps and into Jack’s office. How hard could buying a dress be, anyway?