Torchwood: Fanfic: Too close for comfort

[m_findlow]

Title: Too close for comfort
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Jack, Ianto
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 788 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for m_findlow's prompt "Any, any, I'm not good with touchy feely" at fic_promptly
Summary: Jack was always worried that Ianto was the one holding him at arms length.

Jack paused just inches above Ianto's shoulder, resisting the touch he’d been intent on making. They didn’t really do cuddly and tender moments. For all the time they spent together, it was all games, rough sex and flirty promises that never went anywhere when they were with the team. They didn’t do public displays of affection. Jack teased, Ianto reciprocated with dry witted banter, but there was no hand holding, no hand on a knee in the SUV or under the boardroom table, even if no one else would see it. Ianto was aloof and a little embarrassed by Jack’s attentions and Jack was holding himself back. It felt too easy to try for more.

He couldn’t deny the way Ianto made him feel, that warm tingling he got when Ianto’s eyes met his or the breathlessness he felt when they finally did touch. But now he didn't he want to admit that this was different to all the other lovers he’d had before. Falling in love too much was a risk because once he started, he knew there’d be no end to just how deeply he could love. This was better in a lot of ways, this masculine distance they kept.

Ianto was one of the gentlest people he’d ever known, but he wasn’t the touchy feely kind, who liked to express his feelings. In fact, he could even remember Ianto specifically saying, 'I'm not good with touchy feely." Jack had burst out laughing at the time. He'd been the one who had grabbed Jack in the SUV and snogged him, setting in motion the whole chain of events that had lead up to this, and now he was claiming he wasn't touchy feely.

There were times when he wished Ianto had never kissed him in the first place, opening to door to something else, but then again, Jack couldn't deny the jealousy he'd felt when it seemed like maybe someone other than him had attracted Ianto's attentions. Jack had never been good at sharing - not even the threat of having to share. He really was just an all or nothing kind of guy. Despite that, and wanting it all, he didn't want to do anything that might jeopardise having it all.

Jack knew that a true romantic would carry his lover off to bed where they would snuggle all night. He worried that even covering Ianto with his coat might be considered too much. Behind closed doors, Ianto was as fiesty and passionate as Jack could ever hope for, but for outward appearance's sake he was all business. No one on the team knew what they were doing. No amount of Jack's flirting and banter was going to tip them off. He could probably grab Ianto right there in the middle of a boardroom meeting, kissing him hard, and no one would think twice. He'd done so much of that sort of thing beforehand that only an absence of it might garner any suspicion.

He half wondered just how much he might get away with in full view of the team. He wondered how much Ianto might be willing to put up with. But every time Jack moved his hand toward him he pulled back at the last moment, stopping himself. The more you do, the harder it's going to be to stop, he told himself. He hadn't loved anyone like this for a long time. In fact, he'd specifically not let himself get tangled up in love for that very reason. When things got too heated, too involved, he'd backed away as quick as he could. A tender touch on his skin would send his mind into meltdown, alarm bells going off loudly in his head. "Don't do it," they said. "You'll only have to say goodbye. You'll only get your heart broken."

Ianto turned around in his chair, finding Jack there stood behind him, right where he'd been when his indecision had failed him. 'Hello. '

'Hi.'

Ianto checked his watch. 'The others will have gone home by now.'

Jack nodded. 'Yep. It's late.'

'I'm not too tired yet. We could, you know...' Jack knew exactly what they could do. They both did.

'Actually, I was just coming to say I've got to head out. Torchwood business.'

'Oh.' The look of disappointment on Ianto's face was unmistakable. 'Well, I could come with you,' he offered. 'Keep you company.'

Jack shook his head. 'Go home. Get a decent night's sleep. You've earned it. I'll see you in the morning.'

He didn't look back as he headed for the cogwheel door, afraid of what he might see, or more to the point, what Ianto might see. Perhaps he was the one who wasn't good with touchy feely.