Fffc Bingo Card - The root of the problem

[m_findlow]

Title: The root of the problem 
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Owen 
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes: none 
Author notes: Written for Bingo Card Prompt 76 - Teeth at fffc
Summary: Ianto has to defer to Owen's medical expertise. 

Owen groaned as he read the number of the caller ID. It couldn't be anything good. 'What?' he said, making sure his greeting was as blunt and unenthused as he felt. 

'Oh, and hello to you, too,' Ianto replied. 'Yes, I'm fine thanks. Jack's good, too. And I couldn't agree more. Such lovely weather we're having.' 

Owen sighed audibly. 'Are you done now, or should I go pick up a coffee and come back?' Knowing Ianto, he'd still be wittering on even when he did come back. 

'Well, seeing as how you left me to fill in both sides of the conversation with your chirpy and chatty greeting… And is that really any way to speak to your boss?' 

'Oh, so it's one of those calls. You just love playing that card, don't you?' 

Owen could hear the smirk in Ianto's voice. 'Only with you.' 

'Lucky me. So come on, then. What is it you want?' 

'I think we've got an issue with one of the Cwm Noddfa residents.' 

Owen leaned his hip against the lab bench. 'Medically, I assume?' 

'You assume correct. I was hoping you'd be able to take a drive down here and take a look? Today?' 

Owen frowned. 'I thought you had medical people in Cardiff?' 

'I have doctors, yes,' Ianto conceded. 'However, I like to defer to you in unusual situations.' 

'Oh, unusual situations,' Owen teased. 'My favourite.' 

'So, is that a yes? I know how much you miss us back here in Wales.' 

Owen rolled his eyes as Ianto had done to him a thousand times before. 'You're the boss.' 

'So I am,' Ianto replied, as if this was revelatory. 'I'll look forward to seeing you in a few hours.' 

Owen's drive was smooth, avoiding the major arterial between London and Cardiff, opting for the lesser traveled roads that snuck him over the border and deep into Welsh valleys territory. He still needed his sat nav but he was getting better at finding the secluded swathe of lush green acreage.

Ianto was waiting for him at the end of the long lane way, just outside the large cottage that was their base for personnel staying at, what Ianto colloquially called, the farm. He was dressed in his civvies so Owen knew he was bound to be getting his hands dirty. 

'Thanks for coming,' Ianto said as Owen got out of the car. He began walking along the gravel path which curled around the homestead and snaked up into the hills beyond it. Owen followed with his bag of kit. 

'So, what's the problem?' he asked, falling it into step with his former teammate, now director of the whole bloody worldwide circus that was Torchwood. 

'It's the Fracknee. I think it's got a toothache.' 

A Fracknee was something like a beaver, Owen knew, only about the size of a minivan, with a big flat tail and huge teeth. 'How do you figure that?' It wasn't like they could talk or have any meaningful exchange with it. It was just another creature, no different to housing a zoo full of animals, which was basically what this place was. 

'Let me show you,' Ianto said, cresting the hill and heading down the other side which ended in a huge lake surrounded by the mountains that formed the massive property. 'One of the team noticed it was chewing on logs far larger than it should be. I've been keeping an eye on it for the past two days but it isn't interested in food, but keeps chewing.' 

'So you, with your vast medical experience, you diagnosed a toothache?' Owen was highly skeptical. 

'Well, it's what Jack does when he's trying to mask one and avoid going to the dentist. Why not a lesser creature?' 

As they approached the water's edge, Owen could already see the Fracknee, lazing by the shore where a large log lay abandoned. It was hunched over the thing, setting its mouth around it as best it could and gnawing, but without any real intent. It certainly didn't look like it was trying to break off bits of wood to add to its burrow. 

Ianto approached it, reaching up to stroke its fur. It was incredibly placid and didn't mind humans, so it certainly wasn't bothered by anyone showing it kindness after its rough entrance into Cardiff’s less than friendly estates. 'Please stop doing that,' Ianto implored. 'It can't be good for you.' Unsurprisingly, it didn't stop its masticating. Ianto sighed. 'Over to you, Doctor Harper.' 

Owen set his bag down and the pair of them managed to get the Fracknee away from its log for just a few minutes. Having two of them there suddenly gave it something new to turn its attention to. 

Fortunately for Owen, it's teeth, huge as they were, weren't sharp. They were made for slow grinding, which gave him a chance to get his hands in there to inspect Ianto's hunch. He pressed around until he struck a nerve and the poor creature hawed and groaned in pain. 

'Well, what do you know? For once you were right, Teaboy.' 

'Told you so,' he said, looking smug. 

'Yeah, well that's all well and good, but I'd say that's no cavity you're dealing with, but rather nerve pain. That's what's got it off its food and trying to do whatever it can to get some relief. I can give it something to ease the discomfort, but you're staring down the barrel of an alien root canal.'

'I don't think he's covered by the NHS. What do you need?' 

'Need?' Owen asked. 'I need a dentist to sort him out.' 

'But you're a doctor. You're the best I've got.' 

Owen smirked. 'And I'll bet it pained you to say that. But there's a difference. Same as you wouldn't get a dentist to do open heart surgery on you.'

'Right, I'll just give my local a call then, shall I?' 

'If he can cope with Jack, how much harder could this possibly be?'