Torchwood: Fanfic: A poor excuse

[m_findlow]

Title: A poor excuse
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, OCs
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 693 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for badly_knitted's prompt "Any, any, Sorry I'm late. The dog ate my car keys." at fic_promptly
Summary: Ianto pays the price for being too honest.

'Sorry. I'm so sorry,' Ianto muttered as he slinked into the room full of people. Naturally, each and every one of them looked up at him and forced him to make his walk of shame all the way to the front of the room, where the last seat at the long oval shaped table lay waiting for him to occupy it. His own copy of the briefing papers sat untouched, pen lined up parallel to them, and his water glass upside down and empty on the brushed steel coaster. The rest of them had files that lay open, notes adorning the pages and several empty coffee cups and water glasses already occupied the space. It was clear they'd been going for some time already, and that no one had bothered to wait for his arrival, not that he could blame them.

The UNIT Commander who was conducting the presentation paused, gripping his laser pointer. If he kept it in that one spot much longer, Ianto suspected the little red laser dot might burn a hole right through the screen. Ianto undid the button on his jacket as he sat down and fiddled nervously with the knot in his tie, before opening his file. 'Sorry I'm late,' he repeated. 'The, ah, dog ate my car keys.'

There was a hushed little murmuring that flowed around the room, like a wave washing up the beach. Little sniggers and comments whispered under hands held over mouths, as if he might be able to lip read if they didn't cover them. He knew how ridiculous it sounded. It wasn't mortifying up enough to be three hours late to such an important gathering of international agencies, he'd had to go and blurt out the honest to God reason he was late. Stupid, stupid stupid! He should've just told them he'd had to prevent the world from ending. Hardly unbelievable given what he did for a living. Damn him for his honesty.

The UNIT Commander coughed awkwardly. 'That's... rather unfortunate. I trust the dog is quite alright? I assume it belongs to you? Not some stray?'

Ianto cringed as twenty sets of eyes all converged on him. 'Er,' he cleared his throat. 'He should be fine. My husb- ah, Captain Harkness, was good enough to take him to the vet to be sure.'

Bloody Jack was more worried about the dog than Ianto's meeting. 'I'll take him straight to down to the vet. They can surgically remove them or something. Gods, I hope they haven't caused him any internal damage,' Jack said, fussing and fretting. He grabbed the dog and had him in the back of the SUV, pulling out of the driveway before Ianto could argue with him.

'Great,' he said, left standing alone in the kitchen where he'd found the dog, trying to vomit up something that wouldn't budge. It didn't take long to realise his missing keys weren't a coincidence. 'Now how am I supposed to get anywhere when you've knicked the SUV, Jack?' he asked the empty room. He'd have to get a cab to the train station and then hope there was an express service. Even so he wouldn't make it on time. He'd already chewed up an hour turning the house upside down for his keys which he'd known he'd left on the plate in the kitchen, right where they were meant to be kept. Their sorry excuse for a pet had only returned to the scene of the crime well after, when he'd decided that eating household effects didn't agree with him.

He should have called in and claimed compassionate leave. Did dogs count? It was Jack's dog after all, even if he had grown rather fond of it. He certainly didn't want it to die, even if it would be its own fault. What kind of stupid creature ate car keys, anyway, apart from a hoix, and only because they ate everything.

'Well, I'm sure we're all very glad to hear that your dog should survive what I'm sure must have been quite an ordeal,' the UNIT Commander replied.

'Thank you.' Now if only he could survive the ordeal of salvaging his reputation!