Fandomweekly Challenge 64 - Dampened spirits

[m_findlow]

Title: Dampened spirits
Fandom: Torchwood
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG.
Length: 1,000 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 64 - Rainy day at fandomweekly
Summary: Sometimes it's easy to overlook the obvious.

Jack groaned as they marched down the concrete steps between the rows of plastic seating. 'I can't believe they confiscated my umbrella!'

'I think,' Ianto corrected him, 'you'll find it was my umbrella, and that Cardiff City Stadium's rules are quite clear on what you can and can't bring into the ground.'

They'd only been out here five minutes and already they were soaked to the skin from the torrential downpour that was sweeping across the city. 'How come you two aren't complaining?'

Gwen swept her wet fringe away from her face, the rain sliding off her leather jacket. 'You seem to have that covered.'

Jack took in the sight around him. 'It's pouring rain and all these people are still here? Why?'

'They're football fans. Moreover, they're Welsh football fans. A bit of rain isn't going to stop them.'

'Seriously?'

'If we let the rain dictate our lives we'd never leave our houses,' Ianto reminded him.

'Okay, so the rain isn't gonna make them leave. What would?'

'Getting absolutely slaughtered by the away side?'

Jack looked up at the scoreboard. Cardiff were three nil up and, despite the torrid conditions out there, they didn't look like they were quitting whilst ahead.

'Get in there, Williams!' one fan loudly shouted right next to Jack. Jack cast a glance at the pitch and could barely make out the players, let alone which one might be Williams. 'Just when I think this little planet doesn't get any stranger.'

Gwen grinned. 'You should come to a rugby match with us one day.'

Jack pulled his collar up higher. 'No thanks. Getting dragged to Ianto's opera is bad enough.'

'I'll pretend the rain is so loud I didn't hear that,' the young man replied.

'Okay, so, we've got incoming alien spacecraft landing here in...' Jack pulled back his sleeve to check his watch, barely able to see than hands on it as the rain pelted the glass face, '...twenty minutes. What's our plan?'

Gwen huffed. 'Wouldn't it be easier just to have them land somewhere else?'

'I wish. It takes an hour to say anything in their local language. Maybe if we had three days to explain why landing here isn't a good idea...'

Gwen surveyed the stadium. 'God, there must be thousands of people in here.'

'Fifteen thousand three hundred and twenty two,' Ianto reported, checking it on his phone. 'Excluding operational staff and club officials.'

Jack groaned on the inside. Great. And all of them diehard football fans in their striped scarves and plastic ponchos. 'Okay, ideas for how to get fifteen thousand people out of here in a hurry?'

'Fire alarm,' Ianto immediately suggested.

'It's bucketing rain.'

'Gas leak.'

'Do they use lot of gas at a football stadium? I mean, other than to keep the pasties warm?'

'Bomb threat.'

Jack shook his head. 'A mass panic could cause more harm than good if people start trying to trample one another to get out of here.'

'Contagious virus?' He could tell Ianto was clutching at straws now.

'How contagious?'

'Very.'

Jack grimaced with indecision. 'Not sure it'd work.'

'Hey, we're being dumbos about this,' Gwen said. 'We've missed the bloody obvious.' The two men turned to look at her.

'Alien invasion?'

'No. Look, we've got a stadium full of football fans. The only way to get them to leave is for the game to be over.'

'Gwen, if you're suggesting we kill the two teams out on the pitch, I think that's a little extreme.'

She sighed the sort of resigned sound that came from working far too closely with two people for so long that simple solutions to problems no longer bubbled to the surface. 'We've got an incoming alien ship, right?'

'Yeah.'

'So, why deviate from the truth? We tell them that there's a helicopter with mechanical problems in need of an emergency place to land and that for the safety of the patrons we need them to evacuate to allow emergency services access.'

Jack looked at Ianto. 'Simple.'

'To the point,' he agreed.

She didn't wait for them to continue their debate as to whether her idea had their seal of approval. She marched towards one of her former colleagues, flashing her ID at him and swiping his radio. Jack felt sorry for him on multiple fronts - having to stand out in the pouring rain on steward duties in a neon yellow police jacket that was probably doing nothing to keep out the rain, and secondly, because the man was now being accosted by Gwen Cooper, who never took no for an answer

A few moments later the tannoy overhead pinged. "Attention, attention. Today's match is being suspended due to emergency services requiring immediate use of the ground for an emergency helicopter landing. We ask that you please exit the ground in a prompt, orderly manner, and to follow the instructions of police. Thank you."

There was a mixture of cheers and boos, some delighted that the match had ended early whilst the home side were ahead, others aggrieved that they'd paid good money despite the weather.

Jack shook his head in amazement at Gwen's simple idea. 'What would we ever do without her?'

'Probably still be arguing over the most outlandish way to evacuate a football stadium,' Ianto replied.

'The FAA better not rule it a draw,' Jack heard one of the patrons mutter to his mate.

'Least the pub will be dry and we can watch the other half of the Swansea game.'

'Bah, who cares about Swansea? Only good to watch if they're losing.'

'They're four goals down. Looks like it's going to be a right old thrashing.'

'Well, what the bloody hell are we sitting about in the rain here for, then? Three points, three pints and a reason to give Davy a right rollicking tomorrow.'

Jack shook his head as the rain continued to pour down, seeping into his collar and down his spine. At least today was turning out okay for someone.