Slashthedrabble Challenge 598 - Come the dawn

[m_findlow]

Title: Come the dawn
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 500 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 598 - Dawn at slashthedrabble
Summary: Ianto has had the worst night and come the morning, things don't seem to be getting any better.

Ianto slumped onto the grass in an exhausted heap. He wanted to sick up but he couldn't even find the strength to do that. Whenever he thought about his throat, all he could feel was the blade of that cleaver knife, pressed up against it, just half an inch away from cutting it completely, to leave him lying and bleeding there on the floor. It was going to be a slow and agonising way to die. Keeps the meat nice and tender, he remembered, feeling another wave of nausea hit him. He dropped his head into his hands and tried to breathe through it. The cool morning air was doing wonders to ease the sensation.

When he looked up again he realised it was no longer night. A pale dawn was beginning to creep over the valley, highlighting just how green the grass was and how clear a day it would be once the sun finally did rise. A great day to be alive, most would have said. Right now, he wasn't sure how he felt about living. He hadn't wanted to die, but then again, after what he'd seen yesterday and last night, perhaps dying was the way out of this shitty place. How could people do those kinds of things to other people?

As he kept his eyes staring straight down at the grass in front of him a familiar boot entered his field of view.

‘You okay?’

He might have laughed. How could he possibly be okay? He thought he'd be okay out in the field. He'd done stuff in London that was bordering on the slightly crazy side of disastrous, but it turned out that when it really came down to it, he wasn't cut out for this. Not like the others.

A hand came down to touch his shoulder and he cringed at the way he leaned into the touch. He wanted Jack to hug him and tell him it would be okay, but that was ridiculous. He shouldn't want Jack to touch him. He couldn't explain it. He just wanted to be held and to… what? That kiss when they'd been dealing with the cyberwoman had left him feeling confused. Jack didn't want him. That wasn't it. Jack wasn't a subtle guy. If he wanted something he just went and took it. The fact that he was just standing there now told Ianto all he needed to know. He wanted to be upset over losing Lisa - and he was - but he was even more upset that Jack had sparked something that wouldn't be reciprocated. It only made him feel even more devastated. What was the point in living?

‘A brand new day is breaking,’ Jack said, keeping his tone purposefully calm and philosophical.

What difference would that make, Ianto wondered. Life was cruel and getting crueller by the day.

Jack gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. ‘Don't dwell on it,’ came the instruction.

He wouldn't, Ianto promised himself. He'd end it rather than suffer.