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m_findlowTitle: Don't feed the animals
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 500 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 631 - Outlaw at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
slashthedrabble
Summary: Ianto's generosity could be about to land them both in serious trouble.
Jack walked back to their spot on the lawns by the river just as Ianto was starting to enjoy the sunshine. This was a perfect spot to picnic, even if it was a bit of a hike back to where they'd left their spacecraft parked, meaning Jack's pit stop to the loo was a decent ten minute walk. Still, it preserved the civic beauty of the spot by not having public toilets ruining the scene.
He must have caught the movement of Ianto's arm as he flung something from it. He came and sat back down on the rug and gave Ianto a curious look. 'What was that?'
'What?'
Jack frowned. 'That thing you just did with your arm.'
Ianto shrugged.' I was just feeding the crusts to the local ducks. At least they sort of look like ducks.' They bobbed in the river and waddled over the grass, so to his mind, that made them ducks.' I figured they were only going to waste since you won't eat them. Honestly I can't understand it myself. The crust is the best part. He held up a hand before Jack could protest. I know, I know. I usually cut the crusts off yours just how you like them but I was being lazy this morning. Figured you'd rather me spend that time finishing up baking the chocolate brownies.'
Jack pushed himself from the rug and began racing around, trying to pick up the little chunks of bread that had been so far undiscovered and unclaimed by the local ornithology.
'What are you doing? It's not litter. The birds will eat it eventually.'
'No, no, no, no, no,' Jack muttered, ignoring Ianto's excuses. 'You don't understand. It's the feeding the birds bit. It's been outlawed here for centuries. You don't understand how serious a crime it is. I don't even want to think what would happen if one of them died from eating them. We'd be more than dead.'
'What?' Ianto's voice barely concealed his incredulity. 'You can't lock people up for feeding the birds. That's insane.'
'That's the law.'
'Well, it's a stupid law. If they don't want people feeding the wildlife, why not have signs to tell people that? No wonder they ignored half the bits I threw.' Maybe they thought he was throwing stuff at them like some horrible child.
'We have to find every last bit and make sure no one sees us. They'd have us locked up quicker than you can say Raxacoricofallapatorius.'
Ianto grumbled as he moved around on hands and knees trying to remember where he'd tossed bits of bread. It was bad enough that they'd been places where you could get arrested for being homosexual, or kissing in public or walking on the left instead of the right, or talking English or wearing anything green. Now he was in trouble for feeding birds? The universe truly was a ridiculous place. None of this would be happening if Jack had just eaten his bloody crusts!
Fandom: Torchwood
Characters: Ianto, Jack
Author: m_findlow
Rating: PG
Length: 500 words
Content notes: none
Author notes: Written for Challenge 631 - Outlaw at
slashthedrabbleSummary: Ianto's generosity could be about to land them both in serious trouble.
Jack walked back to their spot on the lawns by the river just as Ianto was starting to enjoy the sunshine. This was a perfect spot to picnic, even if it was a bit of a hike back to where they'd left their spacecraft parked, meaning Jack's pit stop to the loo was a decent ten minute walk. Still, it preserved the civic beauty of the spot by not having public toilets ruining the scene.
He must have caught the movement of Ianto's arm as he flung something from it. He came and sat back down on the rug and gave Ianto a curious look. 'What was that?'
'What?'
Jack frowned. 'That thing you just did with your arm.'
Ianto shrugged.' I was just feeding the crusts to the local ducks. At least they sort of look like ducks.' They bobbed in the river and waddled over the grass, so to his mind, that made them ducks.' I figured they were only going to waste since you won't eat them. Honestly I can't understand it myself. The crust is the best part. He held up a hand before Jack could protest. I know, I know. I usually cut the crusts off yours just how you like them but I was being lazy this morning. Figured you'd rather me spend that time finishing up baking the chocolate brownies.'
Jack pushed himself from the rug and began racing around, trying to pick up the little chunks of bread that had been so far undiscovered and unclaimed by the local ornithology.
'What are you doing? It's not litter. The birds will eat it eventually.'
'No, no, no, no, no,' Jack muttered, ignoring Ianto's excuses. 'You don't understand. It's the feeding the birds bit. It's been outlawed here for centuries. You don't understand how serious a crime it is. I don't even want to think what would happen if one of them died from eating them. We'd be more than dead.'
'What?' Ianto's voice barely concealed his incredulity. 'You can't lock people up for feeding the birds. That's insane.'
'That's the law.'
'Well, it's a stupid law. If they don't want people feeding the wildlife, why not have signs to tell people that? No wonder they ignored half the bits I threw.' Maybe they thought he was throwing stuff at them like some horrible child.
'We have to find every last bit and make sure no one sees us. They'd have us locked up quicker than you can say Raxacoricofallapatorius.'
Ianto grumbled as he moved around on hands and knees trying to remember where he'd tossed bits of bread. It was bad enough that they'd been places where you could get arrested for being homosexual, or kissing in public or walking on the left instead of the right, or talking English or wearing anything green. Now he was in trouble for feeding birds? The universe truly was a ridiculous place. None of this would be happening if Jack had just eaten his bloody crusts!
